白痴 英文版 The Idiot
陀思妥耶夫斯基 Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Idiot V. Page 2
"I--I don't quite know how to answer your question, AglayaIvanovna. What is there to say to such a question? And--and mustI answer?"
"I think you are rather overwhelmed and out of breath. Have alittle rest, and try to recover yourself. Take a glass of water,or--but they'll give you some tea directly."
"I love you, Aglaya Ivanovna,--I love you very much. I love onlyyou--and--please don't jest about it, for I do love you verymuch."
"Well, this matter is important. We are not children--we must lookinto it thoroughly. Now then, kindly tell me--what does yourfortune consist of?"
"No--Aglaya--come, enough of this, you mustn't behave like this,"said her father, in dismay.
"It's disgraceful," said Lizabetha Prokofievna in a loud whisper.
"She's mad--quite!" said Alexandra.
"Fortune--money--do you mean?" asked the prince in some surprise.
she had feared, but had gone to the?
"Just so."
"I have now--let's see--I have a hundred and thirty-five thousandroubles," said the prince, blushing violently.
"Is that all, really?" said Aglaya, candidly, without theslightest show of confusion. "However, it's not so bad,especially if managed with economy. Do you intend to serve?"
"I--I intended to try for a certificate as private tutor."
"Very good. That would increase our income nicely. Have you anyintention of being a Kammer-junker?"
"A Kammer-junker? I had not thought of it, but--"
But here the two sisters could restrain themselves no longer, andboth of them burst into irrepressible laughter.
Adelaida had long since detected in Aglaya's features thegathering signs of an approaching storm of laughter, which sherestrained with amazing self-control.
Aglaya looked menacingly at her laughing sisters, but could notcontain herself any longer, and the next minute she too had burstinto an irrepressible, and almost hysterical, fit of mirth. Atlength she jumped up, and ran out of the room.
"I knew it was all a joke!" cried Adelaida. "I felt it eversince--since the hedgehog."
"No, no! I cannot allow this,--this is a little too much," criedLizabetha Prokofievna, exploding with rage, and she rose from herseat and followed Aglaya out of the room as quickly as she could.
The two sisters hurriedly went after her.
The prince and the general were the only two persons left in theroom.
"It's--it's really--now could you have imagined anything like it,Lef Nicolaievitch?" cried the general. He was evidently so muchagitated that he hardly knew what he wished to say. "Seriouslynow, seriously I mean--"
"I only see that Aglaya Ivanovna is laughing at me," said thepoor prince, sadly.
"Wait a bit, my boy, I'll just go--you stay here, you know. Butdo just explain, if you can, Lef Nicolaievitch, how in the worldhas all this come about? And what does it all mean? You mustunderstand, my dear fellow; I am a father, you see, and I oughtto be allowed to understand the matter--do explain, I beg you!"
"I love Aglaya Ivanovna--she knows it,--and I think she must havelong known it."
The general shrugged his shoulders.
"Strange--it's strange," he said, "and you love her very much?"
"Yes, very much."
"Well--it's all most strange to me. That is--my dear fellow, itis such a surprise--such a blow--that... You see, it is notyour financial position (though I should not object if you were abit richer)--I am thinking of my daughter's happiness, of course,and the thing is--are you able to give her the happiness shedeserves? And then--is all this a joke on her part, or is she inearnest? I don't mean on your side, but on hers."
At this moment Alexandra's voice was heard outside the door,calling out "Papa!"
"Wait for me here, my boy--will you? Just wait and think it allover, and I'll come back directly," he said hurriedly, and madeoff with what looked like the rapidity of alarm in response toAlexandra's call.
He found the mother and daughter locked in one another's arms,mingling their tears.
These were the tears of joy and peace and reconciliation. Aglayawas kissing her mother's lips and cheeks and hands; they werehugging each other in the most ardent way.
"There, look at her now--Ivan Fedorovitch! Here she is--all ofher! This is our REAL Aglaya at last!" said LizabethaProkofievna.
Aglaya raised her happy, tearful face from her mother's breast,glanced at her father, and burst out laughing. She sprang at himand hugged him too, and kissed him over and over again. She thenrushed back to her mother and hid her face in the maternal bosom,and there indulged in more tears. Her mother covered her with acorner of her shawl.
"Oh, you cruel little girl! How will you treat us all next, Iwonder?" she said, but she spoke with a ring of joy in her voice,and as though she breathed at last without the oppression whichshe had felt so long.
"Cruel?" sobbed Aglaya. "Yes, I AM cruel, and worthless, andspoiled--tell father so,--oh, here he is--I forgot Father,listen!" She laughed through her tears.
"My darling, my little idol," cried the general, kissing andfondling her hands (Aglaya did not draw them away); "so you lovethis young man, do you?"
"No, no, no, can't BEAR him, I can't BEAR your young man!" criedAglaya, raising her head. "And if you dare say that ONCE more,papa--I'm serious, you know, I'm,--do you hear me--I'm serious!"
She certainly did seem to be serious enough. She had flushed upall over and her eyes were blazing.
The general felt troubled and remained silent, while LizabethaProkofievna telegraphed to him from behind Aglaya to ask noquestions.
"If that's the case, darling--then, of course, you shall doexactly as you like. He is waiting alone downstairs. Hadn't Ibetter hint to him gently that he can go?" The generaltelegraphed to Lizabetha Prokofievna in his turn.
"No, no, you needn't do anything of the sort; you mustn't hintgently at all. I'll go down myself directly. I wish to apologizeto this young man, because I hurt his feelings."
"Yes, SERIOUSLY," said the general, gravely.
"Well, you'd better stay here, all of you, for a little, and I'llgo down to him alone to begin with. I'll just go in and then youcan follow me almost at once. That's the best way."
She had almost reached the door when she turned round again.
"I shall laugh--I know I shall; I shall die of laughing," shesaid, lugubriously.
However, she turned and ran down to the prince as fast as herfeet could carry her.
"Well, what does it all mean? What do you make of it?" asked thegeneral of his spouse, hurriedly.
"I hardly dare say," said Lizabetha, as hurriedly, "but I thinkit's as plain as anything can be."
"I think so too, as clear as day; she loves him."
"Loves him? She is head over ears in love, that's what she is,"put in Alexandra.
"Well, God bless her, God bless her, if such is her destiny,"said Lizabetha, crossing herself devoutly.
"H'm destiny it is," said the general, "and there's no gettingout of destiny."
With these words they all moved off towards the drawing-room,where another surprise awaited them. Aglaya had not only notlaughed, as she had feared, but had gone to the prince rathertimidly, and said to him:
"Forgive a silly, horrid, spoilt girl"--(she took his hand here)--"and be quite assured that we all of us esteem you beyond allwords. And if I dared to turn your beautiful, admirablesimplicity to ridicule, forgive me as you would a little childits mischief. Forgive me all my absurdity of just now, which, ofcourse, meant nothing, and could not have the slightestconsequence." She spoke these words with great emphasis.
Her father, mother, and sisters came into the room and were muchstruck with the last words, which they just caught as theyentered--"absurdity which of course meant nothing"--and stillmore so with the emphasis with which Aglaya had spoken.
They exchanged glances questioningly, but the prince did not seemto have understood the meaning of Aglaya's words; he was in thehighest heaven of delight.
"Why do you speak so?" he murmured. "Why do you ask myforgiveness?"
He wished to add that he was unworthy of being asked forforgiveness by her, but paused. Perhaps he did understandAglaya's sentence about "absurdity which meant nothing," and likethe strange fellow that he was, rejoiced in the words.
Undoubtedly the fact that he might now come and see Aglaya asmuch as he pleased again was quite enough to make him perfectlyhappy; that he might come and speak to her, and see her, and sitby her, and walk with her--who knows, but that all this was quiteenough to satisfy him for the whole of his life, and that hewould desire no more to the end of time?
(Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that this might be the case, and shedidn't like it; though very probably she could not have put theidea into words.)
It would be difficult to describe the animation and high spiritswhich distinguished the prince for the rest of the evening.
anything like it,Lef.
He was so happy that "it made one feel happy to look at him," asAglaya's sisters expressed it afterwards. He talked, and toldstories just as he had done once before, and never since, namelyon the very first morning of his acquaintance with the Epanchins,six months ago. Since his return to Petersburg from Moscow, hehad been remarkably silent, and had told Prince S. on oneoccasion, before everyone, that he did not think himselfjustified in degrading any thought by his unworthy words.
But this evening he did nearly all the talking himself, and toldstories by the dozen, while he answered all questions put to himclearly, gladly, and with any amount of detail.
There was nothing, however, of love-making in his talk. His ideaswere all of the most serious kind; some were even mystical andprofound.
He aired his own views on various matters, some of his mostprivate opinions and observations, many of which would haveseemed rather funny, so his hearers agreed afterwards, had theynot been so well expressed.
The general liked serious subjects of conversation; but both heand Lizabetha Prokofievna felt that they were having a little toomuch of a good thing tonight, and as the evening advanced, theyboth grew more or less melancholy; but towards night, the princefell to telling funny stories, and was always the first to burstout laughing himself, which he invariably did so joyously andsimply that the rest laughed just as much at him as at hisstories.
As for Aglaya, she hardly said a word all the evening; but shelistened with all her ears to Lef Nicolaievitch's talk, andscarcely took her eyes off him.
"She looked at him, and stared and stared, and hung on every wordhe said," said Lizabetha afterwards, to her husband, "and yet,tell her that she loves him, and she is furious!"
"What's to be done? It's fate," said the general, shrugging hisshoulders, and, for a long while after, he continued to repeat:"It's fate, it's fate!"
We may add that to a business man like General Epanchin thepresent position of affairs was most unsatisfactory. He hated theuncertainty in which they had been, perforce, left. However, hedecided to say no more about it, and merely to look on, and takehis time and tune from Lizabetha Prokofievna.
The happy state in which the family had spent the evening, asjust recorded, was not of very long duration. Next day Aglayaquarrelled with the prince again, and so she continued to behavefor the next few days. For whole hours at a time she ridiculedand chaffed the wretched man, and made him almost a laughing-stock.
It is true that they used to sit in the little summer-housetogether for an hour or two at a time, very often, but it wasobserved that on these occasions the prince would read the paper,or some book, aloud to Aglaya.
"Do you know," Aglaya said to him once, interrupting the reading,"I've remarked that you are dreadfully badly educated. You neverknow anything thoroughly, if one asks you; neither anyone's name,nor dates, nor about treaties and so on. It's a great pity, youknow!"
"I told you I had not had much of an education," replied theprince.
"How am I to respect you, if that's the case? Read on now. No--don't! Stop reading!"
And once more, that same evening, Aglaya mystified them all.Prince S. had returned, and Aglaya was particularly amiable tohim, and asked a great deal after Evgenie Pavlovitch. (Muishkinhad not come in as yet.)
Suddenly Prince S. hinted something about "a new and approachingchange in the family." He was led to this remark by acommunication inadvertently made to him by Lizabetha Prokofievna,that Adelaida's marriage must be postponed a little longer, inorder that the two weddings might come off together.
It is impossible to describe Aglaya's irritation. She flared up,and said some indignant words about "all these sillyinsinuations." She added that "she had no intentions as yet ofreplacing anybody's mistress."
These words painfully impressed the whole party; but especiallyher parents. Lizabetha Prokofievna summoned a secret council oftwo, and insisted upon the general's demanding from the prince afull explanation of his relations with Nastasia Philipovna. Thegeneral argued that it was only a whim of Aglaya's; and that, hadnot Prince S. unfortunately made that remark, which had confusedthe child and made her blush, she never would have said what shedid; and that he was sure Aglaya knew well that anything shemight have heard of the prince and Nastasia Philipovna was merelythe fabrication of malicious tongues, and that the woman wasgoing to marry Rogojin. He insisted that the prince had nothingwhatever to do with Nastasia Philipovna, so far as any liaisonwas concerned; and, if the truth were to be told about it, headded, never had had.
Meanwhile nothing put the prince out, and he continued to be inthe seventh heaven of bliss. Of course he could not fail toobserve some impatience and ill-temper in Aglaya now and then;but he believed in something else, and nothing could now shakehis conviction. Besides, Aglaya's frowns never lasted long; theydisappeared of themselves.
Perhaps he was too easy in his mind. So thought Hippolyte, at allevents, who met him in the park one day.
"Didn't I tell you the truth now, when I said you were in love?"he said, coming up to Muishkin of his own accord, and stoppinghim.
The prince gave him his hand and congratulated him upon "lookingso well."
Hippolyte himself seemed to be hopeful about his state of health,as is often the case with consumptives.
He had approached the prince with the intention of talkingsarcastically about his happy expression of face, but very soonforgot his intention and began to talk about himself. He begancomplaining about everything, disconnectedly and endlessly, aswas his wont.
"You wouldn't believe," he concluded, "how irritating they allare there. They are such wretchedly small, vain, egotistical,COMMONPLACE people! Would you believe it, they invited me thereunder the express condition that I should die quickly, and theyare all as wild as possible with me for not having died yet, andfor being, on the contrary, a good deal better! Isn't it acomedy? I don't mind betting that you don't believe me!"
The prince said nothing.
"I sometimes think of coming over to you again," said Hippolyte,carelessly. "So you DON'T think them capable of inviting a man onthe condition that he is to look sharp and die?"
"I certainly thought they invited you with quite other views."
"Ho, ho! you are not nearly so simple as they try to make youout! This is not the time for it, or I would tell you a thing ortwo about that beauty, Gania, and his hopes. You are beingundermined, pitilessly undermined, and--and it is reallymelancholy to see you so calm about it. But alas! it's yournature--you can't help it!"
"My word! what a thing to be melancholy about! Why, do you thinkI should be any happier if I were to feel disturbed about theexcavations you tell me of?"
"It is better to be unhappy and know the worst, than to be happyin a fool's paradise! I suppose you don't believe that you have arival in that quarter?"
prince, blushing violently.
"Your insinuations as to rivalry are rather cynical, Hippolyte.I'm sorry to say I have no right to answer you! As for Gania, Iput it to you, CAN any man have a happy mind after passingthrough what he has had to suffer? I think that is the best wayto look at it. He will change yet, he has lots of time beforehim, and life is rich; besides--besides..." the princehesitated. "As to being undermined, I don't know what in theworld you are driving at, Hippolyte. I think we had better dropthe subject!"
"Very well, we'll drop it for a while. You can't look at anythingbut in your exalted, generous way. You must put out your fingerand touch a thing before you'll believe it, eh? Ha! ha! ha! Isuppose you despise me dreadfully, prince, eh? What do youthink?"
"Why? Because you have suffered more than we have?"
"No; because I am unworthy of my sufferings, if you like!"
"Whoever CAN suffer is worthy to suffer, I should think. AglayaIvanovna wished to see you, after she had read your confession,but--"
"She postponed the pleasure--I see--I quite understand!" saidHippolyte, hurriedly, as though he wished to banish the subject."I hear--they tell me--that you read her all that nonsense aloud?Stupid @ bosh it was--written in delirium. And I can't understandhow anyone can be so I won't say CRUEL, because the word would behumiliating to myself, but we'll say childishly vain andrevengeful, as to REPROACH me with this confession, and use it asa weapon against me. Don't be afraid, I'm not referring toyourself."
"Oh, but I'm sorry you repudiate the confession, Hippolyte--it issincere; and, do you know, even the absurd parts of it--and theseare many" (here Hippolyte frowned savagely) "are, as it were,redeemed by suffering--for it must have cost you something toadmit what you there say--great torture, perhaps, for all I know.Your motive must have been a very noble one all through. Whatevermay have appeared to the contrary, I give you my word, I see thismore plainly every day. I do not judge you; I merely say this tohave it off my mind, and I am only sorry that I did not say itall THEN--"
Hippolyte flushed hotly. He had thought at first that the princewas "humbugging" him; but on looking at his face he saw that hewas absolutely serious, and had no thought of any deception.Hippolyte beamed with gratification.
"And yet I must die," he said, and almost added: "a man like me @
"And imagine how that Gania annoys me! He has developed the idea--or pretends to believe--that in all probability three or fourothers who heard my confession will die before I do. There's anidea for you--and all this by way of CONSOLING me! Ha! ha! ha! Inthe first place they haven't died yet; and in the second, if theyDID die--all of them--what would be the satisfaction to me inthat? He judges me by himself. But he goes further, he actuallypitches into me because, as he declares, 'any decent fellow'would die quietly, and that 'all this' is mere egotism on mypart. He doesn't see what refinement of egotism it is on his ownpart--and at the same time, what ox-like coarseness! Have youever read of the death of one Stepan Gleboff, in the eighteenthcentury? I read of it yesterday by chance."
"Who was he?"
He was impaled on a stake in the time of Peter."
"I know, I know! He lay there fifteen hours in the hard frost,and died with the most extraordinary fortitude--I know--what ofhim?"
"Only that God gives that sort of dying to some, and not toothers. Perhaps you think, though, that I could not die likeGleboff?"
"Not at all!" said the prince, blushing. "I was only going tosay that you--not that you could not be like Gleboff--but thatyou would have been more like @
"I guess what you mean--I should be an Osterman, not a Gleboff--eh? Is that what you meant?"
"What Osterman?" asked the prince in some surprise.
"Why, Osterman--the diplomatist. Peter's Osterman," mutteredHippolyte, confused. There was a moment's pause of mutualconfusion.
Oh, no, no!" said the prince at last, "that was not what I wasgoing to say--oh no! I don't think you would ever have been likeOsterman."
Hippolyte frowned gloomily.
"I'll tell you why I draw the conclusion," explained the prince,evidently desirous of clearing up the matter a little. "Because,though I often think over the men of those times, I cannot forthe life of me imagine them to be like ourselves. It reallyappears to me that they were of another race altogether thanourselves of today. At that time people seemed to stick so toone idea; now, they are more nervous, more sensitive, moreenlightened--people of two or three ideas at once--as it were.The man of today is a broader man, so to speak--and I declare Ibelieve that is what prevents him from being so self-containedand independent a being as his brother of those earlier days. Ofcourse my remark was only made under this impression, and not inthe least @
"I quite understand. You are trying to comfort me for thenaiveness with which you disagreed with me--eh? Ha! ha! ha! Youare a regular child, prince! However, I cannot help seeing thatyou always treat me like--like a fragile china cup. Never mind,never mind, I'm not a bit angry! At all events we have had a veryfunny talk. Do you know, all things considered, I should like tobe something better than Osterman! I wouldn't take the trouble torise from the dead to be an Osterman. However, I see I must makearrangements to die soon, or I myself--. Well--leave me now! Aurevoir. Look here--before you go, just give me your opinion: howdo you think I ought to die, now? I mean--the best, the mostvirtuous way? Tell me!"
"Ha! ha! ha! I thought so. I thought I should hear something likethat. Well, you are--you really are--oh dear me! Eloquence,eloquence! Good-bye!"