白痴 英文版 The Idiot
陀思妥耶夫斯基 Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Idiot IV. Page 2
"You did a good action," said the prince, "for in the midst ofhis angry feelings you insinuated a kind thought into his heart."
"Just so, prince, just so. How well you bring out that fact!Because your own heart is good!" cried the ecstatic oldgentleman, and, strangely enough, real tears glistened in hiseyes." Yes, prince, it was a wonderful spectacle. And, do youknow, I all but went off to Paris, and should assuredly haveshared his solitary exile with him; but, alas, our destinies wereotherwise ordered! We parted, he to his island, where I am surehe thought of the weeping child who had embraced him soaffectionately at parting in Moscow; and I was sent off to thecadet corps, where I found nothing but roughness and harshdiscipline. Alas, my happy days were done!
"'I do not wish to deprive your mother of you, and, therefore, Iwill not ask you to go with me,' he said, the morning of hisdeparture, 'but I should like to do something for you.' He wasmounting his horse as he spoke. 'Write something in my sister'salbum for me,' I said rather timidly, for he was in a state ofgreat dejection at the moment. He turned, called for a pen, tookthe album. 'How old is your sister?' he asked, holding the pen inhis hand. 'Three years old,' I said. 'Ah, petite fille alors!'and he wrote in the album:
'Ne mentes jamais!NAPOLEON (votre ami sincere).'
"Such advice, and at such a moment, you must allow, prince, was--"
"Yes, quite so; very remarkable."
"This page of the album, framed in gold, hung on the wall of mysister's drawing-room all her life, in the most conspicuous place,till the day of her death; where it is now, I really don't know.Heavens! it's two o'clock! HOW I have kept you, prince! It isreally most unpardonable of me.
The general rose.
"Oh, not in the least," said the prince. " On the contrary, Ihave been so much interested, I'm really very much obliged toyou."
"Prince,", said the general, pressing his hand, and looking athim with flashing eyes, and an expression as though he were underthe influence of a sudden thought which had come upon him withstunning force. "Prince, you are so kind, so simple-minded, thatsometimes I really feel sorry for you! I gaze at you with afeeling of real affection. Oh, Heaven bless you! May your lifeblossom and fructify in love. Mine is over. Forgive me, forgiveme!"
He left the room quickly, covering his face with his hands.
The prince could not doubt the sincerity of his agitation. Heunderstood, too, that the old man had left the room intoxicatedwith his own success. The general belonged to that class ofliars, who, in spite of their transports of lying, invariablysuspect that they are not believed. On this occasion, when herecovered from his exaltation, he would probably suspect Muishkinof pitying him, and feel insulted.
"Have I been acting rightly in allowing him to develop such vastresources of imagination?" the prince asked himself. But hisanswer was a fit of violent laughter which lasted ten wholeminutes. He tried to reproach himself for the laughing fit, buteventually concluded that he needn't do so, since in spite of ithe was truly sorry for the old man. The same evening he receiveda strange letter, short but decided. The general informed himthat they must part for ever; that he was grateful, but that evenfrom him he could not accept "signs of sympathy which werehumiliating to the dignity of a man already miserable enough."
When the prince heard that the old man had gone to NinaAlexandrovna, though, he felt almost easy on his account.
We have seen, however, that the general paid a visit to LizabethaProkofievna and caused trouble there, the final upshot being thathe frightened Mrs. Epanchin, and angered her by bitter hints asto his son Gania.
He had been turned out in disgrace, eventually, and this was thecause of his bad night and quarrelsome day, which ended in hissudden departure into the street in a condition approachinginsanity, as recorded before.
Colia did not understand the position. He tried severity with hisfather, as they stood in the street after the latter had cursedthe household, hoping to bring him round that way.
"Well, where are we to go to now, father?" he asked. "You don'twant to go to the prince's; you have quarrelled with Lebedeff;you have no money; I never have any; and here we are in themiddle of the road, in a nice sort of mess."
"Better to be of a mess than in a mess! I remember making a jokesomething like that at the mess in eighteen hundred and forty--forty--I forget. 'Where is my youth, where is my golden youth?'Who was it said that, Colia?"
"It was Gogol, in Dead Souls, father," cried Colia, glancing athim in some alarm.
"'Dead Souls,' yes, of course, dead. When I die, Colia, you mustengrave on my tomb:
"'Here lies a Dead Soul,Shame pursues me.'
"I don't know, father."
"There was no Eropegoff? Eroshka Eropegoff?" he cried, suddenly,stopping in the road in a frenzy. "No Eropegoff! And my own sonto say it! Eropegoff was in the place of a brother to me foreleven months. I fought a duel for him. He was marriedafterwards, and then killed on the field of battle. The bulletstruck the cross on my breast and glanced off straight into histemple. 'I'll never forget you,' he cried, and expired. I servedmy country well and honestly, Colia, but shame, shame has pursuedme! You and Nina will come to my grave, Colia; poor Nina, Ialways used to call her Nina in the old days, and how sheloved.... Nina, Nina, oh, Nina. What have I ever done to deserveyour forgiveness and long-suffering? Oh, Colia, your mother has anangelic spirit, an angelic spirit, Colia!"
"I know that, father. Look here, dear old father, come back home!Let's go back to mother. Look, she ran after us when we came out.What have you stopped her for, just as though you didn't take inwhat I said? Why are you crying, father?"
Poor Colia cried himself, and kissed the old man's hands
"You kiss my hands, MINE?"
"Yes, yes, yours, yours! What is there to surprise anyone in that?Come, come, you mustn't go on like this, crying in the middle ofthe road; and you a general too, a military man! Come, let's goback."
"God bless you, dear boy, for being respectful to a disgracedman. Yes, to a poor disgraced old fellow, your father. You shallhave such a son yourself; le roi de Rome. Oh, curses on thishouse!"
"Come, come, what does all this mean?" cried Colia beside himselfat last. "What is it? What has happened to you? Why don't youwish to come back home? Why have you gone out of your mind, likethis?"
"I'll explain it, I'll explain all to you. Don't shout! You shallhear. Le roi de Rome. Oh, I am sad, I am melancholy!
"'Nurse, where is your tomb?'"
"Who said that, Colia?"
"I don't know, I don't know who said it. Come home at once; comeon! I'll punch Gania's head myself, if you like--only come. Oh,where are you off to again?" The general was dragging him awaytowards the door a house near. He sat down on the step, stillholding Colia by the hand.
"Bend down--bend down your ear. I'll tell you all--disgrace--benddown, I'll tell you in your ear."
"What are you dreaming of?" said poor, frightened Colia, stoopingdown towards the old man, all the same.
"Le roi de Rome," whispered the general, trembling all over.
"What? What DO you mean? What roi de Rome?"
"I-I," the general continued to whisper, clinging more and moretightly to the boy's shoulder. "I--wish--to tell you--all--Maria--Maria Petrovna--Su--Su--Su......."
Colia broke loose, seized his father by the shoulders, and staredinto his eyes with frenzied gaze. The old man had grown livid--his lips were shaking, convulsions were passing over hisfeatures. Suddenly he leant over and began to sink slowly intoColia's arms.
"He's got a stroke!" cried Colia, loudly, realizing what was thematter at last.