白痴 英文版 The Idiot
陀思妥耶夫斯基 Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Idiot V. Page 2
And why had not the prince approached him and spoken to him,instead of turning away and pretending he had seen nothing,although their eyes met? (Yes, their eyes had met, and they hadlooked at each other.) Why, he had himself wished to take Rogojinby the hand and go in together, he had himself determined to goto him on the morrow and tell him that he had seen her, he hadrepudiated the demon as he walked to the house, and his heart hadbeen full of joy.
Was there something in the whole aspect of the man, today,sufficient to justify the prince's terror, and the awfulsuspicions of his demon? Something seen, but indescribable, whichfilled him with dreadful presentiments? Yes, he was convinced ofit--convinced of what? (Oh, how mean and hideous of him to feelthis conviction, this presentiment! How he blamed himself forit!) "Speak if you dare, and tell me, what is the presentiment?"he repeated to himself, over and over again. "Put it into words,speak out clearly and distinctly. Oh, miserable coward that Iam!" The prince flushed with shame for his own baseness. "Howshall I ever look this man in the face again? My God, what a day!And what a nightmare, what a nightmare!"
There was a moment, during this long, wretched walk back from thePetersburg Side, when the prince felt an irresistible desire togo straight to Rogojin's, wait for him, embrace him with tearsof shame and contrition, and tell him of his distrust, and finishwith it--once for all.
But here he was back at his hotel.
How often during the day he had thought of this hotel withloathing--its corridor, its rooms, its stairs. How he had dreadedcoming back to it, for some reason.
"What a regular old woman I am today," he had said to himselfeach time, with annoyance. "I believe in every foolishpresentiment that comes into my head."
He stopped for a moment at the door; a great flush of shame cameover him. "I am a coward, a wretched coward," he said, and movedforward again; but once more he paused.
Among all the incidents of the day, one recurred to his mind tothe exclusion of the rest; although now that his self-control wasregained, and he was no longer under the influence of anightmare, he was able to think of it calmly. It concerned theknife on Rogojin's table. "Why should not Rogojin have as manyknives on his table as he chooses?" thought the prince, wonderingat his suspicions, as he had done when he found himself lookinginto the cutler's window. "What could it have to do with me?" hesaid to himself again, and stopped as if rooted to the ground bya kind of paralysis of limb such as attacks people under thestress of some humiliating recollection.
The doorway was dark and gloomy at any time; but just at thismoment it was rendered doubly so by the fact that the thunder-storm had just broken, and the rain was coming down in torrents.
And in the semi-darkness the prince distinguished a man standingclose to the stairs, apparently waiting.
There was nothing particularly significant in the fact that a manwas standing back in the doorway, waiting to come out or goupstairs; but the prince felt an irresistible conviction that heknew this man, and that it was Rogojin. The man moved on up thestairs; a moment later the prince passed up them, too. His heartfroze within him. "In a minute or two I shall know all," hethought.
The staircase led to the first and second corridors of the hotel,along which lay the guests' bedrooms. As is often the case inPetersburg houses, it was narrow and very dark, and turned arounda massive stone column.
On the first landing, which was as small as the necessary turn ofthe stairs allowed, there was a niche in the column, about half ayard wide, and in this niche the prince felt convinced that a manstood concealed. He thought he could distinguish a figurestanding there. He would pass by quickly and not look. He took astep forward, but could bear the uncertainty no longer and turnedhis head.
The eyes--the same two eyes--met his! The man concealed in theniche had also taken a step forward. For one second they stoodface to face.
Suddenly the prince caught the man by the shoulder and twistedhim round towards the light, so that he might see his face moreclearly.
Rogojin's eyes flashed, and a smile of insanity distorted hiscountenance. His right hand was raised, and something glitteredin it. The prince did not think of trying to stop it. All hecould remember afterwards was that he seemed to have called out:
"Parfen! I won't believe it."
Next moment something appeared to burst open before him: awonderful inner light illuminated his soul. This lasted perhapshalf a second, yet he distinctly remembered hearing the beginningof the wail, the strange, dreadful wail, which burst from hislips of its own accord, and which no effort of will on his partcould suppress.
Next moment he was absolutely unconscious; black darkness blottedout everything.
He had fallen in an epileptic fit.
.. . . . . . .
As is well known, these fits occur instantaneously. The face,especially the eyes, become terribly disfigured, convulsionsseize the limbs, a terrible cry breaks from the sufferer, a wailfrom which everything human seems to be blotted out, so that itis impossible to believe that the man who has just fallen is thesame who emitted the dreadful cry. It seems more as though someother being, inside the stricken one, had cried. Many people haveborne witness to this impression; and many cannot behold anepileptic fit without a feeling of mysterious terror and dread.
Such a feeling, we must suppose, overtook Rogojin at this moment,and saved the prince's life. Not knowing that it was a fit, andseeing his victim disappear head foremost into the darkness,hearing his head strike the stone steps below with a crash,Rogojin rushed downstairs, skirting the body, and flung himselfheadlong out of the hotel, like a raving madman.
The prince's body slipped convulsively down the steps till itrested at the bottom. Very soon, in five minutes or so, he wasdiscovered, and a crowd collected around him.
A pool of blood on the steps near his head gave rise to gravefears. Was it a case of accident, or had there been a crime? Itwas, however, soon recognized as a case of epilepsy, andidentification and proper measures for restoration followed oneanother, owing to a fortunate circumstance. Colia Ivolgin hadcome back to his hotel about seven o'clock, owing to a suddenimpulse which made him refuse to dine at the Epanchins', and,finding a note from the prince awaiting him, had sped away to thelatter's address. Arrived there, he ordered a cup of tea and satsipping it in the coffee-room. While there he heard excitedwhispers of someone just found at the bottom of the stairs in afit; upon which he had hurried to the spot, with a presentimentof evil, and at once recognized the prince.
The sufferer was immediately taken to his room, and though hepartially regained consciousness, he lay long in a semi-dazedcondition.
The doctor stated that there was no danger to be apprehended fromthe wound on the head, and as soon as the prince could understandwhat was going on around him, Colia hired a carriage and took himaway to Lebedeff's. There he was received with much cordiality,and the departure to the country was hastened on his account.Three days later they were all at Pavlofsk.