白痴 英文版 The Idiot
陀思妥耶夫斯基 Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Idiot XIII.
THE prince was very nervous as he reached the outer door; but hedid his best to encourage himself with the reflection that theworst thing that could happen to him would be that he would notbe received, or, perhaps, received, then laughed at for coming.
But there was another question, which terrified him considerably,and that was: what was he going to do when he DID get in? And tothis question he could fashion no satisfactory reply.
irritation.less obstinately did she stick!
If only he could find an opportunity of coming close up toNastasia Philipovna and saying to her: "Don't ruin yourself bymarrying this man. He does not love you, he only loves yourmoney. He told me so himself, and so did Aglaya Ivanovna, and Ihave come on purpose to warn you"--but even that did not seemquite a legitimate or practicable thing to do. Then, again, therewas another delicate question, to which he could not find ananswer; dared not, in fact, think of it; but at the very idea ofwhich he trembled and blushed. However, in spite of all his fearsand heart-quakings he went in, and asked for Nastasia Philipovna.
Nastasia occupied a medium-sized, but distinctly tasteful, flat,beautifully furnished and arranged. At one period of these fiveyears of Petersburg life, Totski had certainly not spared hisexpenditure upon her. He had calculated upon her eventual love,and tried to tempt her with a lavish outlay upon comforts andluxuries, knowing too well how easily the heart accustoms itselfto comforts, and how difficult it is to tear one's self away fromluxuries which have become habitual and, little by little,indispensable.
Nastasia did not reject all this, she even loved her comforts andluxuries, but, strangely enough, never became, in the leastdegree, dependent upon them, and always gave the impression thatshe could do just as well without them. In fact, she went so faras to inform Totski on several occasions that such was the case,which the latter gentleman considered a very unpleasantcommunication indeed.
But, of late, Totski had observed many strange and originalfeatures and characteristics in Nastasia, which he had neitherknown nor reckoned upon in former times, and some of thesefascinated him, even now, in spite of the fact that all his oldcalculations with regard to her were long ago cast to the winds.
A maid opened the door for the prince (Nastasia's servants wereall females) and, to his surprise, received his request toannounce him to her mistress without any astonishment. Neitherhis dirty boots, nor his wide-brimmed hat, nor his sleevelesscloak, nor his evident confusion of manner, produced the leastimpression upon her. She helped him off with his cloak, andbegged him to wait a moment in the ante-room while she announcedhim.
The company assembled at Nastasia Philipovna's consisted of nonebut her most intimate friends, and formed a very small party incomparison with her usual gatherings on this anniversary.
In the first place there were present Totski, and GeneralEpanchin. They were both highly amiable, but both appeared to belabouring under a half-hidden feeling of anxiety as to the resultof Nastasia's deliberations with regard to Gania, which resultwas to be made public this evening.
Then, of course, there was Gania who was by no means so amiableas his elders, but stood apart, gloomy, and miserable, andsilent. He had determined not to bring Varia with him; butNastasia had not even asked after her, though no sooner had hearrived than she had reminded him of the episode between himselfand the prince. The general, who had heard nothing of it before,began to listen with some interest, while Gania, drily, but withperfect candour, went through the whole history, including thefact of his apology to the prince. He finished by declaring thatthe prince was a most extraordinary man, and goodness knows whyhe had been considered an idiot hitherto, for he was very farfrom being one.
Nastasia listened to all this with great interest; but theconversation soon turned to Rogojin and his visit, and this themeproved of the greatest attraction to both Totski and the general.
by special privileges?" others engaged in beating up!
Ptitsin was able to afford some particulars as to Rogojin'sconduct since the afternoon. He declared that he had been busyfinding money for the latter ever since, and up to nine o'clock,Rogojin having declared that he must absolutely have a hundredthousand roubles by the evening. He added that Rogojin was drunk,of course; but that he thought the money would be forthcoming,for the excited and intoxicated rapture of the fellow impelledhim to give any interest or premium that was asked of him, andthere were several others engaged in beating up the money, also.
All this news was received by the company with somewhat gloomyinterest. Nastasia was silent, and would not say what she thoughtabout it. Gania was equally uncommunicative. The general seemedthe most anxious of all, and decidedly uneasy. The present ofpearls which he had prepared with so much joy in the morning hadbeen accepted but coldly, and Nastasia had smiled ratherdisagreeably as she took it from him. Ferdishenko was the onlyperson present in good spirits.
Totski himself, who had the reputation of being a capital talker,and was usually the life and soul of these entertainments, was assilent as any on this occasion, and sat in a state of, for him,most uncommon perturbation.
The rest of the guests (an old tutor or schoolmaster, goodnessknows why invited; a young man, very timid, and shy and silent; arather loud woman of about forty, apparently an actress; and avery pretty, well-dressed German lady who hardly said a word allthe evening) not only had no gift for enlivening the proceedings,but hardly knew what to say for themselves when addressed. Underthese circumstances the arrival of the prince came almost as agodsend.
The announcement of his name gave rise to some surprise and tosome smiles, especially when it became evident, from Nastasia'sastonished look, that she had not thought of inviting him. Buther astonishment once over, Nastasia showed such satisfactionthat all prepared to greet the prince with cordial smiles ofwelcome.
there was more styleabout them. However, the wine was .
"Of course," remarked General Epanchin, "he does this out of pureinnocence. It's a little dangerous, perhaps, to encourage thissort of freedom; but it is rather a good thing that he hasarrived just at this moment. He may enliven us a little with hisoriginalities."
"Especially as he asked himself," said Ferdishenko.
"What's that got to do with it?" asked the general, who loathedFerdishenko.
"Why, he must pay toll for his entrance," explained the latter.
"H'm! Prince Muishkin is not Ferdishenko," said the general,impatiently. This worthy gentleman could never quite reconcilehimself to the idea of meeting Ferdishenko in society, and on anequal footing.
"Oh general, spare Ferdishenko!" replied the other, smiling. "Ihave special privileges."
"What do you mean by special privileges?"
"Once before I had the honour of stating them to the company. Iwill repeat the explanation to-day for your excellency's benefit.You see, excellency, all the world is witty and clever exceptmyself. I am neither. As a kind of compensation I am allowed totell the truth, for it is a well-known fact that only stupidpeople tell 'the truth. Added to this, I am a spiteful man, justbecause I am not clever. If I am offended or injured I bear itquite patiently until the man injuring me meets with somemisfortune. Then I remember, and take my revenge. I return theinjury sevenfold, as Ivan Petrovitch Ptitsin says. (Of course henever does so himself.) Excellency, no doubt you recollectKryloff's fable, 'The Lion and the Ass'? Well now, that's you andI. That fable was written precisely for us."
"You seem to be talking nonsense again, Ferdishenko," growled thegeneral.
"What is the matter, excellency? I know how to keep my place.When I said just now that we, you and I, were the lion and theass of Kryloff's fable, of course it is understood that I takethe role of the ass. Your excellency is the lion of which thefable remarks:
'A mighty lion, terror of the woods,Was shorn of his great prowess by old age.'
And I, your excellency, am the ass."
"I am of your opinion on that last point," said Ivan Fedorovitch,with ill-concealed irritation.
All this was no doubt extremely coarse, and moreover it waspremeditated, but after all Ferdishenko had persuaded everyone toaccept him as a buffoon.
"If I am admitted and tolerated here," he had said one day, "itis simply because I talk in this way. How can anyone possiblyreceive such a man as I am? I quite understand. Now, could I, aFerdishenko, be allowed to sit shoulder to shoulder with a cleverman like Afanasy Ivanovitch? There is one explanation, only one.I am given the position because it is so entirely inconceivable!"
But these vulgarities seemed to please Nastasia Philipovna,although too often they were both rude and offensive. Those whowished to go to her house were forced to put up with Ferdishenko.Possibly the latter was not mistaken in imagining that he wasreceived simply in order to annoy Totski, who disliked himextremely. Gania also was often made the butt of the jester'ssarcasms, who used this method of keeping in NastasiaPhilipovna's good graces.
havewatched the prince !
"The prince will begin by singing us a fashionable ditty,"remarked Ferdishenko, and looked at the mistress of the house, tosee what she would say.
"I don't think so, Ferdishenko; please be quiet," answeredNastasia Philipovna dryly.
"A-ah! if he is to be under special patronage, I withdraw myclaws."
But Nastasia Philipovna had now risen and advanced to meet theprince.
"I was so sorry to have forgotten to ask you to come, when I sawyou," she said, "and I am delighted to be able to thank youpersonally now, and to express my pleasure at your resolution."
So saying she gazed into his eyes, longing to see whether shecould make any guess as to the explanation of his motive incoming to her house. The prince would very likely have made somereply to her kind words, but he was so dazzled by her appearancethat he could not speak.
Nastasia noticed this with satisfaction. She was in full dressthis evening; and her appearance was certainly calculated toimpress all beholders. She took his hand and led him towards herother guests. But just before they reached the drawing-room door,the prince stopped her, and hurriedly and in great agitationwhispered to her:
"You are altogether perfection; even your pallor and thinness areperfect; one could not wish you otherwise. I did so wish to comeand see you. I--forgive me, please--"
"Don't apologize," said Nastasia, laughing; "you spoil the wholeoriginality of the thing. I think what they say about you must betrue, that you are so original.--So you think me perfection, doyou?"
"Yes."
"H'm! Well, you may be a good reader of riddles but you are wrongTHERE, at all events. I'll remind you of this, tonight."
Nastasia introduced the prince to her guests, to most of whom hewas already known.
Totski immediately made some amiable remark. Al seemed tobrighten up at once, and the conversation became general.Nastasia made the prince sit down next to herself.
"Dear me, there's nothing so very curious about the princedropping in, after all," remarked Ferdishenko.
"It's quite a clear case," said the hitherto silent Gania. I havewatched the prince almost all day, ever since the moment when hefirst saw Nastasia Philipovna's portrait, at General Epanchin's.I remember thinking at the time what I am now pretty sure of; andwhat, I may say in passing, the prince confessed to myself."
Gania said all this perfectly seriously, and without theslightest appearance of joking; indeed, he seemed strangelygloomy.
"I did not confess anything to you," said the prince, blushing."I only answered your question."
"Bravo! That's frank, at any rate!" shouted Ferdishenko, andthere was general laughter.
"Oh prince, prince! I never should have thought it of you;" saidGeneral Epanchin. "And I imagined you a philosopher! Oh, yousilent fellows!"
"Judging from the fact that the prince blushed at this innocentjoke, like a young girl, I should think that he must, as anhonourable man, harbour the noblest intentions," said the oldtoothless schoolmaster, most unexpectedly; he had not so much asopened his mouth before. This remark provoked general mirth, andthe old fellow himself laughed loudest of the lot, but ended witha stupendous fit of coughing.
Nastasia Philipovna, who loved originality and drollery of allkinds, was apparently very fond of this old man, and rang thebell for more tea to stop his coughing. It was now half-past teno'clock.
"Gentlemen, wouldn't you like a little champagne now?" she asked."I have it all ready; it will cheer us up--do now--no ceremony!"
This invitation to drink, couched, as it was, in such informalterms, came very strangely from Nastasia Philipovna. Her usualentertainments were not quite like this; there was more styleabout them. However, the wine was not refused; each guest took aglass excepting Gania, who drank nothing.
It was extremely difficult to account for Nastasia's strangecondition of mind, which became more evident each moment, andwhich none could avoid noticing.
She took her glass, and vowed she would empty it three times thatevening. She was hysterical, and laughed aloud every other minutewith no apparent reason--the next moment relapsing into gloom andthoughtfulness.
Some of her guests suspected that she must be ill; but concludedat last that she was expecting something, for she continued tolook at her watch impatiently and unceasingly; she was mostabsent and strange.
"You seem to be a little feverish tonight," said the actress.
"Yes; I feel quite ill. I have been obliged to put on this shawl--I feel so cold," replied Nastasia. She certainly had grown verypale, and every now and then she tried to suppress a trembling inher limbs.
"Had we not better allow our hostess to retire?" asked Totski ofthe general.
"Not at all, gentlemen, not at all! Your presence is absolutelynecessary to me tonight," said Nastasia, significantly.
As most of those present were aware that this evening a certainvery important decision was to be taken, these words of NastasiaPhilipovna's appeared to be fraught with much hidden interest.The general and Totski exchanged looks; Gania fidgetedconvulsively in his chair.
"Let's play at some game!" suggested the actress.
"I know a new and most delightful game, added Ferdishenko.
"What is it?" asked the actress.
"Well, when we tried it we were a party of people, like this, forinstance; and somebody proposed that each of us, without leavinghis place at the table, should relate something about himself. Ithad to be something that he really and honestly considered thevery worst action he had ever committed in his life. But he wasto be honest--that was the chief point! He wasn't to be allowedto lie."
"What an extraordinary idea!" said the general.
"That's the beauty of it, general!"
"It's a funny notion," said Totski, "and yet quite natural--it'sonly a new way of boasting."
"Perhaps that is just what was so fascinating about it."
"Why, it would be a game to cry over--not to laugh at!" said theactress.
"Did it succeed?" asked Nastasia Philipovna. "Come, let's try it,let's try it; we really are not quite so jolly as we might be--let's try it! We may like it; it's original, at all events!"
"Yes," said Ferdishenko; "it's a good idea--come along--the menbegin. Of course no one need tell a story if he prefers to bedisobliging. We must draw lots! Throw your slips of paper,gentlemen, into this hat, and the prince shall draw for turns.It's a very simple game; all you have to do is to tell the storyof the worst action of your life. It's as simple as anything.I'll prompt anyone who forgets the rules!"
No one liked the idea much. Some smiled, some frowned someobjected, but faintly, not wishing to oppose Nastasia's wishes;for this new idea seemed to be rather well received by her. Shewas still in an excited, hysterical state, laughing convulsivelyat nothing and everything. Her eyes were blazing, and her cheeksshowed two bright red spots against the white. The melancholyappearance of some of her guests seemed to add to her sarcastichumour, and perhaps the very cynicism and cruelty of the gameproposed by Ferdishenko pleased her. At all events she wasattracted by the idea, and gradually her guests came round to herside; the thing was original, at least, and might turn out to beamusing. "And supposing it's something that one--one can't speakabout before ladies?" asked the timid and silent young man.
"Why, then of course, you won't say anything about it. As ifthere are not plenty of sins to your score without the need ofthose!" said Ferdishenko.
"But I really don't know which of my actions is the worst," saidthe lively actress.
"Ladies are exempted if they like."
"And how are you to know that one isn't lying? And if one liesthe whole point of the game is lost," said Gania.
"Oh, but think how delightful to hear how one's friends lie!Besides you needn't be afraid, Gania; everybody knows what yourworst action is without the need of any lying on your part. Onlythink, gentlemen,"--and Ferdishenko here grew quite enthusiastic,"only think with what eyes we shall observe one another tomorrow,after our tales have been told!"
"But surely this is a joke, Nastasia Philipovna?" asked Totski."You don't really mean us to play this game."
"Whoever is afraid of wolves had better not go into the wood,"said Nastasia, smiling.
"But, pardon me, Mr. Ferdishenko, is it possible to make a gameout of this kind of thing?" persisted Totski, growing more andmore uneasy. "I assure you it can't be a success."
"And why not? Why, the last time I simply told straight off abouthow I stole three roubles."
"Perhaps so; but it is hardly possible that you told it so thatit seemed like truth, or so that you were believed. And, asGavrila Ardalionovitch has said, the least suggestion of afalsehood takes all point out of the game. It seems to me thatsincerity, on the other hand, is only possible if combined with akind of bad taste that would be utterly out of place here."
"How subtle you are, Afanasy Ivanovitch! You astonish me," criedFerdishenko. "You will remark, gentleman, that in saying that Icould not recount the story of my theft so as to be believed,Afanasy Ivanovitch has very ingeniously implied that I am notcapable of thieving--(it would have been bad taste to say soopenly); and all the time he is probably firmly convinced, in hisown mind, that I am very well capable of it! But now, gentlemen,to business! Put in your slips, ladies and gentlemen--is yours in,Mr. Totski? So--then we are all ready; now prince, draw, please."The prince silently put his hand into the hat, and drew thenames. Ferdishenko was first, then Ptitsin, then the general,Totski next, his own fifth, then Gania, and so on; the ladies didnot draw.
"Oh, dear! oh, dear!" cried Ferdishenko. "I did so hope theprince would come out first, and then the general. Well,gentlemen, I suppose I must set a good example! What vexes memuch is that I am such an insignificant creature that it mattersnothing to anybody whether I have done bad actions or not!Besides, which am I to choose? It's an embarras de richesse.Shall I tell how I became a thief on one occasion only, toconvince Afanasy Ivanovitch that it is possible to steal withoutbeing a thief?"
"Do go on, Ferdishenko, and don't make unnecessary preface, oryou'll never finish," said Nastasia Philipovna. All observed howirritable and cross she had become since her last burst oflaughter; but none the less obstinately did she stick to herabsurd whim about this new game. Totski sat looking miserableenough. The general lingered over his champagne, and seemed to bethinking of some story for the time when his turn should come.