白痴 英文版 The Idiot
陀思妥耶夫斯基 Fyodor Dostoyevsky
The Idiot XI.
THE prince now left the room and shut himself up in his ownchamber. Colia followed him almost at once, anxious to do what hecould to console him. The poor boy seemed to be already soattached to him that he could hardly leave him.
"You were quite right to go away!" he said. "The row will ragethere worse than ever now; and it's like this every day with us--and all through that Nastasia Philipovna."
"You have so many sources of trouble here, Colia," said theprince.
"Yes, indeed, and it is all our own fault. But I have a greatfriend who is much worse off even than we are. Would you like toknow him?"
"Yes, very much. Is he one of your school-fellows?"
"Well, not exactly. I will tell you all about him some day. . . .What do you think of Nastasia Philipovna? She is beautiful, isn'tshe? I had never seen her before, though I had a great wish to doso. She fascinated me. I could forgive Gania if he were to marryher for love, but for money! Oh dear! that is horrible!"
"Yes, your brother does not attract me much."
"I am not surprised at that. After what you ... But I do hatethat way of looking at things! Because some fool, or a roguepretending to be a fool, strikes a man, that man is to bedishonoured for his whole life, unless he wipes out the disgracewith blood, or makes his assailant beg forgiveness on his knees!I think that so very absurd and tyrannical. Lermontoff's BalMasque is based on that idea--a stupid and unnatural one, in myopinion; but he was hardly more than a child when he wrote it."
"I like your sister very much."
"Did you see how she spat in Gania's face! Varia is afraid of noone. But you did not follow her example, and yet I am sure it wasnot through cowardice. Here she comes! Speak of a wolf and yousee his tail! I felt sure that she would come. She is verygenerous, though of course she has her faults."
Varia pounced upon her brother.
"This is not the place for you," said she. "Go to father. Is heplaguing you, prince?"
"Not in the least; on the contrary, he interests me."
"Scolding as usual, Varia! It is the worst thing about her. Afterall, I believe father may have started off with Rogojin. No doubthe is sorry now. Perhaps I had better go and see what he isdoing," added Colia, running off.
"Thank God, I have got mother away, and put her to bed withoutanother scene! Gania is worried--and ashamed--not without reason!What a spectacle! I have come to thank you once more, prince, andto ask you if you knew Nastasia Philipovna before
"No, I have never known her."
"Then what did you mean, when you said straight out to her thatshe was not really 'like that'? You guessed right, I fancy. It isquite possible she was not herself at the moment, though I cannotfathom her meaning. Evidently she meant to hurt and insult us. Ihave heard curious tales about her before now, but if she came toinvite us to her house, why did she behave so to my mother?Ptitsin knows her very well; he says he could not understand hertoday. With Rogojin, too! No one with a spark of self-respectcould have talked like that in the house of her... Mother isextremely vexed on your account, too...
"That is nothing!" said the prince, waving his hand.
"But how meek she was when you spoke to her!"
"Meek! What do you mean?"
"You told her it was a shame for her to behave so, and her mannerchanged at once; she was like another person. You have someinfluence over her, prince," added Varia, smiling a little.
The door opened at this point, and in came Gania mostunexpectedly.
He was not in the least disconcerted to see Varia there, but hestood a moment at the door, and then approached the princequietly.
"Prince," he said, with feeling, "I was a blackguard. Forgiveme!" His face gave evidence of suffering. The prince wasconsiderably amazed, and did not reply at once. "Oh, come,forgive me, forgive me!" Gania insisted, rather impatiently. "Ifyou like, I'll kiss your hand. There!"
The prince was touched; he took Gania's hands, and embraced himheartily, while each kissed the other.
"I never, never thought you were like that," said Muishkin,drawing a deep breath. "I thought you--you weren't capable of--"
"Of what? Apologizing, eh? And where on earth did I get the ideathat you were an idiot? You always observe what other people passby unnoticed; one could talk sense to you, but--"
"Here is another to whom you should apologize," said the prince,pointing to Varia.
"No, no! they are all enemies! I've tried them often enough,believe me," and Gania turned his back on Varia with these words.
"But if I beg you to make it up?" said Varia.
"And you'll go to Nastasia Philipovna's this evening--"
"If you insist: but, judge for yourself, can I go, ought I togo?"
"But she is not that sort of woman, I tell you!" said Gania,angrily. "She was only acting."
"I know that--I know that; but what a part to play! And thinkwhat she must take YOU for, Gania! I know she kissed mother'shand, and all that, but she laughed at you, all the same. Allthis is not good enough for seventy-five thousand roubles, mydear boy. You are capable of honourable feelings still, andthat's why I am talking to you so. Oh! DO take care what you aredoing! Don't you know yourself that it will end badly, Gania?"
So saying, and in a state of violent agitation, Varia left theroom.
"There, they are all like that," said Gania, laughing, "just asif I do not know all about it much better than they do."
He sat down with these words, evidently intending to prolong hisvisit.
"If you know it so well," said the prince a little timidly, "whydo you choose all this worry for the sake of the seventy-fivethousand, which, you confess, does not cover it?"
"I didn't mean that," said Gania; "but while we are upon thesubject, let me hear your opinion. Is all this worry worthseventy-five thousand or not?
"Certainly not."
"Of course! And it would be a disgrace to marry so, eh?"
"A great disgrace."
"Oh, well, then you may know that I shall certainly do it, now. Ishall certainly marry her. I was not quite sure of myself before,but now I am. Don't say a word: I know what you want to tell me--"
"No. I was only going to say that what surprises me most of allis your extraordinary confidence."
"How so? What in?"
"That Nastasia Philipovna will accept you, and that the questionis as good as settled; and secondly, that even if she did, youwould be able to pocket the money. Of course, I know very littleabout it, but that's my view. When a man marries for money itoften happens that the wife keeps the money in her own hands."
"Of course, you don't know all; but, I assure you, you needn't beafraid, it won't be like that in our case. There arecircumstances," said Gania, rather excitedly. "And as to heranswer to me, there's no doubt about that. Why should you supposeshe will refuse me?"
"Oh, I only judge by what I see. Varvara Ardalionovna said justnow--"
"Oh she--they don't know anything about it! Nastasia was onlychaffing Rogojin. I was alarmed at first, but I have thoughtbetter of it now; she was simply laughing at him. She looks on meas a fool because I show that I meant her money, and doesn'trealize that there are other men who would deceive her in farworse fashion. I'm not going to pretend anything, and you'll seeshe'll marry me, all right. If she likes to live quietly, so sheshall; but if she gives me any of her nonsense, I shall leave herat once, but I shall keep the money. I'm not going to look afool; that's the first thing, not to look a fool."
"But Nastasia Philipovna seems to me to be such a SENSIBLE woman,and, as such, why should she run blindly into this business?That's what puzzles me so," said the prince.
"You don't know all, you see; I tell you there are things--andbesides, I'm sure that she is persuaded that I love her todistraction, and I give you my word I have a strong suspicionthat she loves me, too--in her own way, of course. She thinks shewill be able to make a sort of slave of me all my life; but Ishall prepare a little surprise for her. I don't know whether Iought to be confidential with you, prince; but, I assure you, youare the only decent fellow I have come across. I have not spokenso sincerely as I am doing at this moment for years. There areuncommonly few honest people about, prince; there isn't onehonester than Ptitsin, he's the best of the lot. Are youlaughing? You don't know, perhaps, that blackguards like honestpeople, and being one myself I like you. WHY am I a blackguard?Tell me honestly, now. They all call me a blackguard because ofher, and I have got into the way of thinking myself one. That'swhat is so bad about the business."
"I for one shall never think you a blackguard again," said theprince. "I confess I had a poor opinion of you at first, but Ihave been so joyfully surprised about you just now; it's a goodlesson for me. I shall never judge again without a thoroughtrial. I see now that you are riot only not a blackguard, but arenot even quite spoiled. I see that you are quite an ordinary man,not original in the least degree, but rather weak."
Gania laughed sarcastically, but said nothing. The prince, seeingthat he did not quite like the last remark, blushed, and wassilent too.
"Has my father asked you for money?" asked Gania, suddenly.
"No."
"Don't give it to him if he does. Fancy, he was a decent,respectable man once! He was received in the best society; he wasnot always the liar he is now. Of course, wine is at the bottomof it all; but he is a good deal worse than an innocent liar now.Do you know that he keeps a mistress? I can't understand howmother is so long-sufferring. Did he tell you the story of thesiege of Kars? Or perhaps the one about his grey horse thattalked? He loves, to enlarge on these absurd histories." AndGania burst into a fit of laughter. Suddenly he turned to theprince and asked: "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"I am surprised to see you laugh in that way, like a child. Youcame to make friends with me again just now, and you said, 'Iwill kiss your hand, if you like,' just as a child would havesaid it. And then, all at once you are talking of this madproject--of these seventy-five thousand roubles! It all seems soabsurd and impossible."
"Well, what conclusion have you reached?"
"That you are rushing madly into the undertaking, and that youwould do well to think it over again. It is more than possiblethat Varvara Ardalionovna is right."
"Ah! now you begin to moralize! I know that I am only a child,very well," replied Gania impatiently. "That is proved by myhaving this conversation with you. It is not for money only,prince, that I am rushing into this affair," he continued, hardlymaster of his words, so closely had his vanity been touched. "IfI reckoned on that I should certainly be deceived, for I am stilltoo weak in mind and character. I am obeying a passion, animpulse perhaps, because I have but one aim, one that overmastersall else. You imagine that once I am in possession of theseseventy-five thousand roubles, I shall rush to buy a carriage...No, I shall go on wearing the old overcoat I have worn forthree years, and I shall give up my club. I shall follow theexample of men who have made their fortunes. When Ptitsin wasseventeen he slept in the street, he sold pen-knives, and beganwith a copeck; now he has sixty thousand roubles, but to getthem, what has he not done? Well, I shall be spared such a hardbeginning, and shall start with a little capital. In fifteenyears people will say, 'Look, that's Ivolgin, the king of theJews!' You say that I have no originality. Now mark this, prince--there is nothing so offensive to a man of our time and race thanto be told that he is wanting in originality, that he is weak incharacter, has no particular talent, and is, in short, anordinary person. You have not even done me the honour of lookingupon me as a rogue. Do you know, I could have knocked you downfor that just now! You wounded me more cruelly than Epanchin,who thinks me capable of selling him my wife! Observe, it was aperfectly gratuitous idea on his part, seeing there has neverbeen any discussion of it between us! This has exasperated me,and I am determined to make a fortune! I will do it! Once I amrich, I shall be a genius, an extremely original man. One of thevilest and most hateful things connected with money is that itcan buy even talent; and will do so as long as the world lasts.You will say that this is childish--or romantic. Well, that willbe all the better for me, but the thing shall be done. I willcarry it through. He laughs most, who laughs last. Why doesEpanchin insult me? Simply because, socially, I am a nobody.However, enough for the present. Colia has put his nose in totell us dinner is ready, twice. I'm dining out. I shall come andtalk to you now and then; you shall be comfortable enough withus. They are sure to make you one of the family. I think you andI will either be great friends or enemies. Look here now,supposing I had kissed your hand just now, as I offered to do inall sincerity, should I have hated you for it afterwards?"
"Certainly, but not always. You would not have been able to keepit up, and would have ended by forgiving me," said the prince,after a pause for reflection, and with a pleasant smile.
"Oho, how careful one has to be with you, prince! Haven't you puta drop of poison in that remark now, eh? By the way--ha, ha, ha!--I forgot to ask, was I right in believing that you were a gooddeal struck yourself with Nastasia Philipovna
"Ye-yes."
"Are you in love with her?"
"N-no."
"And yet you flush up as red as a rosebud! Come--it's all right.I'm not going to laugh at you. Do you know she is a very virtuouswoman? Believe it or not, as you like. You think she and Totski--not a bit of it, not a bit of it! Not for ever so long! Aurevoir!"
Gania left the room in great good humour. The prince stayedbehind, and meditated alone for a few minutes. At length, Coliapopped his head in once more.
"I don't want any dinner, thanks, Colia. I had too good a lunchat General Epanchin's."
Colia came into the room and gave the prince a note; it was fromthe general and was carefully sealed up. It was clear fromColia's face how painful it was to him to deliver the missive.The prince read it, rose, and took his hat.
"It's only a couple of yards," said Colia, blushing.
"He's sitting there over his bottle--and how they can give himcredit, I cannot understand. Don't tell mother I brought you thenote, prince; I have sworn not to do it a thousand times, but I'malways so sorry for him. Don't stand on ceremony, give him sometrifle, and let that end it."
"Come along, Colia, I want to see your father. I have an idea,"said the prince.