现代灰姑娘 英文版 A Modern Cinderella
露意莎.梅.奥尔科特 Louisa May Alcott
THE BROTHERS. Page 1
Doctor Franck came in as I sat sewing up therents in an old shirt, that Tom might go tidily to hisgrave. New shirts were needed for the living, andthere was no wife or mother to "dress him handsomewhen he went to meet the Lord," as onewoman said, describing the fine funeral she hadpinched herself to give her son.
"Miss Dane, I'm in a quandary," began theDoctor, with that expression of countenance whichsays as plainly as words, "I want to ask a favor,but I wish you'd save me the trouble."
"Can I help you out of it?
"Faith! I don't like to propose it. but youcertainly can, if you please."
"Then give it a name, I beg."
"You see a Reb has just been brought in crazywith typhoid; a bad case every way; a drunken,rascally little captain somebody took the troubleto capture, but whom nobody wants to take thetrouble to cure. The wards are full, the ladiesworked to death, and willing to be for our ownboys, but rather slow to risk their lives for a Reb.Now you've had the fever, you like queer patients,your mate will see to your ward for a while, and Iwill find you a good attendant. The fellow won'tlast long, I fancy; but he can't die without somesort of care, you know. I've put him in the fourthstory of the west wing, away from the rest. It isairy, quiet, and comfortable there. I'm on thatward, and will do my best for you in every way.Now, then, will you go?"
"Of course I will, out of perversity, if not commoncharity; for some of these people think thatbecause I'm an abolitionist I am also a heathen,and I should rather like to show them, that, thoughI cannot quite love my enemies, I am willing totake care of them."
"Very good; I thought you'd go; and speakingof abolition reminds me that you can have a contrabandfor servant, if you like. It is that finemulatto fellow who was found burying his Rebelmaster after the fight, and, being badly cut overthe head, our boys brought him along. Will youhave him?"
"By all means,--for I'll stand to my guns onthat point, as on the other; these black boys arefar more faithful and handy than some of the whitescamps given me to serve, instead of being servedby. But is this man well enough?"
"Yes, for that sort of work, and I think you'lllike him. He must have been a handsome fellowbefore he got his face slashed; not much darkerthan myself; his master's son, I dare say, and thewhite blood makes him rather high and haughtyabout some things. He was in a bad way whenhe came in, but vowed he'd die in the street ratherthan turn in with the black fellows below; so Iput him up in the west wing, to be out of the way,and he's seen to the captain all the morning.When can you go up?"
"As soon as Tom is laid out, Skinner moved,Haywood washed, Marble dressed, Charleyrubbed, Downs taken up, Upham laid down, andthe whole forty fed."
We both laughed, though the Doctor was onhis way to the dead-house and I held a shroud onmy lap. But in a hospital one learns that cheerfulnessis one's salvation; for, in an atmosphere ofsuffering and death, heaviness of heart would soonparalyze usefulness of hand, if the blessed gift ofsmiles had been denied us.
In an hour I took possession of my new charge,finding a dissipated-looking boy of nineteen ortwenty raving in the solitary little room, with noone near him but the contraband in the room adjoining.Feeling decidedly more interest in theblack man than in the white, yet remembering theDoctor's hint of his being "high and haughty," Iglanced furtively at him as I scattered chloride oflime about the room to purify the air, and settledmatters to suit myself. I had seen many contrabands,but never one so attractive as this. Allcolored men are called "boys," even if their headsare white; this boy was five-and-twenty at least,strong-limbed and manly, and had the look of onewho never had been cowed by abuse or worn withoppressive labor. He sat on his bed doing nothing;no book, no pipe, no pen or paper anywhereappeared, yet anything less indolent or listless thanhis attitude and expression I never saw. Erect hesat with a hand on either knee, and eyes fixed onthe bare wall opposite, so rapt in some absorbingthought as to be unconscious of my presence,though the door stood wide open and my movementswere by no means noiseless. His face washalf averted, but I instantly approved the Doctor'staste, for the profile which I saw possessed all theattributes of comeliness belonging to his mixed race.He was more quadroon than mulatto, with Saxonfeatures, Spanish complexion darkened by exposure,color in lips and cheek, waving hair, andan eye full of the passionate melancholy which insuch men always seems to utter a mute protestagainst the broken law that doomed them at theirbirth. What could he be thinking of? The sickboy cursed and raved, I rustled to and fro, stepspassed the door, bells rang, and the steady rumbleof army-wagons came up from the street, still henever stirred. I had seen colored people in whatthey call "the black sulks," when, for days, theyneither smiled nor spoke, and scarcely ate. Butthis was something more than that; for the manwas not dully brooding over some small grievance,--he seemed to see an all-absorbing fact or fancyrecorded on the wall, which was a blank to me.I wondered if it were some deep wrong or sorrow,kept alive by memory and impotent regret; if hemourned for the dead master to whom he had beenfaithful to the end; or if the liberty now his wererobbed of half its sweetness by the knowledge thatsome one near and dear to him still languished inthe hell from which he had escaped. My heartquite warmed to him at that idea; I wanted toknow and comfort him; and, following the impulseof the moment, I went in and touched him on theshoulder.
In an instant the man vanished and the slaveappeared. Freedom was too new a boon to havewrought its blessed changes yet, and as he startedup, with his hand at his temple and an obsequious"Yes, Ma'am," any romance that had gatheredround him fled away, leaving the saddest of allsad facts in living guise before me. Not only didthe manhood seem to die out of him, but the comelinessthat first attracted me; for, as he turned, Isaw the ghastly wound that had laid open cheekand forehead. Being partly healed, it was nolonger bandaged, but held together with strips ofthat transparent plaster which I never see withouta shiver and swift recollections of scenes withwhich it is associated in my mind. Part of hisblack hair had been shorn away, and one eye wasnearly closed; pain so distorted, and the cruelsabre-cut so marred that portion of his face, that,when I saw it, I felt as if a fine medal had beensuddenly reversed, showing me a far more strikingtype of human suffering and wrong than MichelAngelo's bronze prisoner. By one of those inexplicableprocesses that often teach us how little weunderstand ourselves, my purpose was suddenlychanged, and though I went in to offer comfort asa friend, I merely gave an order as a mistress.
"Will you open these windows? this man needsmore air."
He obeyed at once, and, as he slowly urged upthe unruly sash, the handsome profile was againturned toward me, and again I was possessed bymy first impression so strongly that I involuntarilysaid,--
"Thank you, Sir."
Perhaps it was fancy, but I thought that in thelook of mingled surprise and something likereproach which be gave me there was also a trace ofgrateful pleasure. But he said, in that tone ofspiritless humility these poor souls learn sosoon,--
"I ain't a white man, Ma'am, I'm a contraband."
"Yes, I know it; but a contraband is a freeman, and I heartily congratulate you."
He liked that; his face shone, he squared hisshoulders, lifted his head, and looked me full inthe eye with a brisk--
"Thank ye, Ma'am; anything more to do feryer?"
"Doctor Franck thought you would help mewith this man, as there are many patients and fewnurses or attendants. Have you had the fever?"
"No, Ma'am."
"They should have thought of that when theyput him here; wounds and fevers should not betogether. I'll try to get you moved."
He laughed a sudden laugh,--if he had been awhite man, I should have called it scornful; as hewas a few shades darker than myself, I suppose itmust be considered an insolent, or at least anunmannerly one.
"It don't matter, Ma'am. I'd rather be uphere with the fever than down with those niggers;and there ain't no other place fer me."
Poor fellow! that was true. No ward in allthe hospital would take him in to lie side by sidewith the most miserable white wreck there. Likethe bat in Aesop's fable, he belonged to neitherrace; and the pride of one, the helplessness of theother, kept him hovering alone in the twilight agreat sin has brought to overshadow the wholeland.
"You shall stay, then; for I would far ratherhave you than any lazy Jack. But are you welland strong enough?"
"I guess I'll do, Ma'am."
He spoke with a passive sort of acquiescence,--as if it did not much matter, if he were not able,and no one would particularly rejoice, if hewere.
"Yes, I think you will. By what name shallI call you?"
"Bob, Ma'am."
other; these black boys arefar more faithful and handy.
Every woman has her pet whim; one of minewas to teach the men self-respect by treating themrespectfully. Tom, Dick, and Harry would pass,when lads rejoiced in those familiar abbreviations;but to address men often old enough to be myfather in that style did not suit my old-fashionedideas of propriety. This "Bob" would never do;I should have found it as easy to call the chaplain"Gus" as my tragical-looking contraband by atitle so strongly associated with the tail of a kite.
"What is your other name?" I asked. "I like to call myattendants by their last names rather than by their first."
"I've got no other, Ma'am; we have our masters' names,or do without. Mine's dead, and I won't have anythingof his about me."
"Well, I'll call you Robert, then, and you mayfill this pitcher for me, if you will be so kind."
He went; but, through all the tame, obedienceyears of servitude had taught him, I could see thatthe proud spirit his father gave him was not yetsubdued, for the look and gesture with which herepudiated his master's name were a more effectivedeclaration of independence than any Fourth-of-Julyorator could have prepared.
We spent a curious week together. Robertseldom left his room, except upon my errands; andI was a prisoner all day, often all night, by thebedside of the Rebel. The fever burned itself rapidlyaway, for there seemed little vitality to feed it inthe feeble frame of this old young man, whose lifehad been none of the most righteous, judging fromthe revelations made by his unconscious lips; sincemore than once Robert authoritatively silencedhim, when my gentler bushings were of no avail,and blasphemous wanderings or ribald camp-songsmade my cheeks burn and Robert's face assumean aspect of disgust. The captain was a gentlemanin the world's eye, but the contraband wasthe gentleman in mine;--I was a fanatic, and thataccounts for such depravity of taste, I hope. Inever asked Robert of himself, feeling that somewherethere was a spot still too sore to bear thelightest touch; but, from his language, manner, andintelligence, I inferred that his color had procuredfor him the few advantages within the reach of aquick-witted, kindly treated slave. Silent, grave,and thoughtful, but most serviceable, was my contraband;glad of the books I brought him, faithfulin the performance of the duties I assigned to him,grateful for the friendliness I could not but feel andshow toward him. Often I longed to ask what purposewas so visibly altering his aspect with such dailydeepening gloom. But I never dared, and no one elsehad either time or desire to pry into the past of thisspecimen of one branch of the chivalrous "F.F.Vs."
On the seventh night, Dr. Franck suggested thatit would be well for some one, besides the generalwatchman of the ward, to be with the captain, asit might be his last. Although the greater part ofthe two preceding nights had been spent there, ofcourse I offered to remain,--for there is a strangefascination in these scenes, which renders onecareless of fatigue and unconscious of fear until thecrisis is passed.
"Give him water as long as he can drink, andif he drops into a natural sleep, it may save him.I'll look in at midnight, when some change willprobably take place. Nothing but sleep or amiracle will keep him now. Good night."
Away went the Doctor; and, devouring a wholemouthful of grapes, I lowered the lamp, wetthe captain's head, and sat down on a hard stoolto begin my watch. The captain lay with hishot, haggard face turned toward me, filling the airwith his poisonous breath, and feebly muttering,with lips and tongue so parched that the sanestspeech would have been difficult to understand.Robert was stretched on his bed in the inner room,the door of which stood ajar, that a fresh draughtfrom his open window might carry the fever-fumesaway through mine. I could just see a long, darkfigure, with the lighter outline of a face, and, havinglittle else to do just then, I fell to thinking ofthis curious contraband, who evidently prizedhis freedom highly, yet seemed in no haste toenjoy it. Doctor Franck had offered to send him onto safer quarters, but he had said, "No, thankyer, Sir, not yet," and then had gone away tofall into one of those black moods of his, whichbegan to disturb me, because I had no power tolighten them. As I sat listening to the clocks fromthe steeples all about us, I amused myself withplanning Robert's future, as I often did my own,and had dealt out to him a generous hand oftrumps wherewith to play this game of life whichhitherto had gone so cruelly against him, when aharsh, choked voice called,--
"Lucy!"
It was the captain, and some new terror seemedto have gifted him with momentary strength.
"Yes, here's Lucy," I answered, hoping thatby following the fancy I might quiet him,--forhis face was damp with the clammy moisture, andhis frame shaken with the nervous tremor that sooften precedes death. His dull eye fixed uponme, dilating with a bewildered look of incredulityand wrath, till he broke out fiercely.--
Lord, no, Ma'am; they all own half a dozenBobs: but hearin.
"That's a lie! she's dead,--and so's Bob,damn him!"
Finding speech a failure, I began to sing thequiet tune that had often soothed delirium likethis; but hardly had the line,
"See gentle patience smile on pain,"
passed my lips, when he clutched me by the wrist,whispering like one in mortal fear,--
"Hush! she used to sing that way to Bob, butshe never would to me. I swore I'd whip theDevil out of her, and I did; but you know beforeshe cut her throat she said she'd haunt me, andthere she is!"
He pointed behind me with an aspect of suchpale dismay, that I involuntarily glanced overmy shoulder and started as if I had seen a veritableghost; for, peering from the gloom of that innerroom, I saw a shadowy face, with dark hair allabout it, and a glimpse of scarlet at the throat.An instant showed me that it was only Robertleaning from his bed's-foot, wrapped in a grayarmy-blanket, with his red shirt just visible aboveit, and his long hair disordered by sleep. Butwhat a strange expression was on his face! Theunmarred side was toward me, fixed and motionlessas when I first observed it,--less absorbednow, but more intent. His eye glittered, his lipswere apart like one who listened with every sense,and his whole aspect reminded me of a hound to whichsome wind had brought the scent of unsuspected prey.
"Do you know him, Robert? Does he meanyou?"
"Lord, no, Ma'am; they all own half a dozenBobs: but hearin' my name woke me; that's all."
He spoke quite naturally, and lay down again,while I returned to my charge, thinking that thisparoxysm was probably his last. But by anotherhour I perceived a hopeful change, for the tremorhad subsided, the cold dew was gone, his breathingwas more regular, and Sleep, the healer, haddescended to save or take him gently away.Doctor Franck looked in at midnight, bade mekeep all cool and quiet, and not fail to administera certain draught as soon as the captain woke.Very much relieved, I laid my head on my arms,uncomfortably folded on the little table, andfancied I was about to perform one of the featswhich practice renders possible,--"sleeping withone eye open," as we say: a half-and-half doze, forall senses sleep but that of hearing; the faintestmurmur, sigh, or motion will break it, and giveone back one's wits much brightened by thepermission to "stand at ease." On this night,the experiment was a failure, for previous vigils,confinement, and much care had rendered napsa dangerous indulgence, Having roused half adozen times in an hour to find all quiet, I droppedmy heavy head on my arms, and, drowsily resolvingto look up again in fifteen minutes, fell fastasleep.
The striking of a deep-voiced clock woke mewith a start. "That is one," thought I, but, tomy dismay, two more strokes followed; and inremorseful haste I sprang up to see what harm mylong oblivion had done. A strong hand put meback into my seat, and held me there. It wasRobert. The instant my eye met his my heartbegan to beat, and all along my nerves tingledthat electric flash which foretells a danger that wecannot see. He was very pale, his mouth grim,and both eyes full of sombre fire,--for even thewounded one was open now, all the more sinisterfor the deep scar above and below. But his touchwas steady, his voice quiet, as he said,--
"Sit still, Ma'am; I won't hurt yer, nor evenscare yer, if I can help it, but yer waked toosoon."
"Let me go, Robert,--the captain is stirring,--I must give him something."
"No, Ma'am, yer can't stir an inch. Lookhere!"
Holding me with one hand, with the other hetook up the glass in which I had left the draught,and showed me it was empty.
"Has he taken it?" I asked, more and morebewildered.
"I flung it out o' winder, Ma'am; he'll have todo without."
"But why, Robert? why did you do it?"
"Because I hate him!"
Impossible to doubt the truth of that; his wholeface showed it, as he spoke through his set teeth,and launched a fiery glance at the unconsciouscaptain. I could only hold my breath and stareblankly at him, wondering what mad act was comingnext. I suppose I shook and turned white, as womenhave a foolish habit of doing when sudden dangerdaunts them; for Robert released my arm, sat downupon the bedside just in front of me, and said, withthe ominous quietude that made me cold to see and hear,--
"Don't yer be frightened, Ma'am: don't tryto run away, fer the door's locked an' the keyin my pocket; don't yer cry out, fer yer'd have toscream a long while, with my hand on yer mouth,before yer was heard. Be still, an' I'll tell yerwhat I'm goin' to do."
"Lord help us! he has taken the fever in somesudden, violent way, and is out of his head. Imust humor him till some one comes"; in pursuanceof which swift determination, I tried to say,quite composedly,--