怀尔德菲尔府的房客 英文版 The Tenant of Wildfell Hall
安妮.勃朗特 Anne Bronte
CHAPTER XXXIII Page 1
Seventh. - Yes, I will hope! To-night I heard Grimsby andHattersley grumbling together about the inhospitality of theirhost. They did not know I was near, for I happened to be standingbehind the curtain in the bow of the window, watching the moonrising over the clump of tall dark elm-trees below the lawn, andwondering why Arthur was so sentimental as to stand without,leaning against the outer pillar of the portico, apparentlywatching it too.
'So, I suppose we've seen the last of our merry carousals in thishouse,' said Mr. Hattersley; 'I thought his good-fellowshipwouldn't last long. But,' added he, laughing, 'I didn't expect itwould meet its end this way. I rather thought our pretty hostesswould be setting up her porcupine quills, and threatening to turnus out of the house if we didn't mind our manners.'
'You didn't foresee this, then?' answered Grimsby, with a gutturalchuckle. 'But he'll change again when he's sick of her. If wecome here a year or two hence, we shall have all our own way,you'll see.'
'I don't know,' replied the other: 'she's not the style of womanyou soon tire of. But be that as it may, it's devilish provokingnow that we can't be jolly, because he chooses to be on his goodbehaviour.'
'It's all these cursed women!' muttered Grimsby: 'they're the verybane of the world! They bring trouble and discomfort wherever theycome, with their false, fair faces and their deceitful tongues.'
At this juncture I issued from my retreat, and smiling on Mr.Grimsby as I passed, left the room and went out in search ofArthur. Having seen him bend his course towards the shrubbery, Ifollowed him thither, and found him just entering the shadowy walk.I was so light of heart, so overflowing with affection, that Isprang upon him and clasped him in my arms. This startling conducthad a singular effect upon him: first, he murmured, 'Bless you,darling!' and returned my close embrace with a fervour like oldtimes, and then he started, and, in a tone of absolute terror,exclaimed, 'Helen! what the devil is this?' and I saw, by the faintlight gleaming through the overshadowing tree, that he waspositively pale with the shock.
How strange that the instinctive impulse of affection should comefirst, and then the shock of the surprise! It shows, at least,that the affection is genuine: he is not sick of me yet.
'I startled you, Arthur,' said I, laughing in my glee. 'Hownervous you are!'
'What the deuce did you do it for?' cried he, quite testily,extricating himself from my arms, and wiping his forehead with hishandkerchief. 'Go back, Helen - go back directly! You'll get yourdeath of cold!'
'I won't, till I've told you what I came for. They are blamingyou, Arthur, for your temperance and sobriety, and I'm come tothank you for it. They say it is all "these cursed women," andthat we are the bane of the world; but don't let them laugh orgrumble you out of your good resolutions, or your affection forme.'
He laughed. I squeezed him in my arms again, and cried in tearfulearnest, 'Do, do persevere! and I'll love you better than ever Idid before!'
'Well, well, I will!' said he, hastily kissing me. 'There, now,go. You mad creature, how could you come out in your light eveningdress this chill autumn night?'
'It is a glorious night,' said I.
'It is a night that will give you your death, in another minute.Run away, do!'
'Do you see my death among those trees, Arthur?' said I, for he wasgazing intently at the shrubs, as if he saw it coming, and I wasreluctant to leave him, in my new-found happiness and revival ofhope and love. But he grew angry at my delay, so I kissed him andran back to the house.
I was in such a good humour that night: Milicent told me I was thelife of the party, and whispered she had never seen me sobrilliant. Certainly, I talked enough for twenty, and smiled uponthem all. Grimsby, Hattersley, Hargrave, Lady Lowborough, allshared my sisterly kindness. Grimsby stared and wondered;Hattersley laughed and jested (in spite of the little wine he hadbeen suffered to imbibe), but still behaved as well as he knew how.Hargrave and Annabella, from different motives and in differentways, emulated me, and doubtless both surpassed me, the former inhis discursive versatility and eloquence, the latter in boldnessand animation at least. Milicent, delighted to see her husband,her brother, and her over-estimated friend acquitting themselves sowell, was lively and gay too, in her quiet way. Even LordLowborough caught the general contagion: his dark greenish eyeswere lighted up beneath their moody brows; his sombre countenancewas beautified by smiles; all traces of gloom and proud or coldreserve had vanished for the time; and he astonished us all, notonly by his general cheerfulness and animation, but by the positiveflashes of true force and brilliance he emitted from time to time.Arthur did not talk much, but he laughed, and listened to the rest,and was in perfect good-humour, though not excited by wine. Sothat, altogether, we made a very merry, innocent, and entertainingparty.
9th. - Yesterday, when Rachel came to dress me for dinner, I sawthat she had been crying. I wanted to know the cause of it, butshe seemed reluctant to tell. Was she unwell? No. Had she heardbad news from her friends? No. Had any of the servants vexed her?
'Oh, no, ma'am!' she answered; 'it's not for myself.'
'What then, Rachel? Have you been reading novels?'
'Bless you, no!' said she, with a sorrowful shake of the head; andthen she sighed and continued: 'But to tell you the truth, ma'am,I don't like master's ways of going on.'
'What do you mean, Rachel? He's going on very properly atpresent.'
'Well, ma'am, if you think so, it's right.'
And she went on dressing my hair, in a hurried way, quite unlikeher usual calm, collected manner, murmuring, half to herself, shewas sure it was beautiful hair: she 'could like to see 'em matchit.' When it was done, she fondly stroked it, and gently patted myhead.
'Is that affectionate ebullition intended for my hair, or myself,nurse?' said I, laughingly turning round upon her; but a tear waseven now in her eye.
'Well, ma'am, I don't know; but if - '
'If what?'
'Well, if I was you, I wouldn't have that Lady Lowborough in thehouse another minute - not another minute I wouldn't!
I was thunderstruck; but before I could recover from the shocksufficiently to demand an explanation, Milicent entered my room, asshe frequently does when she is dressed before me; and she stayedwith me till it was time to go down. She must have found me a veryunsociable companion this time, for Rachel's last words rang in myears. But still I hoped, I trusted they had no foundation but insome idle rumour of the servants from what they had seen in LadyLowborough's manner last month; or perhaps from something that hadpassed between their master and her during her former visit. Atdinner I narrowly observed both her and Arthur, and saw nothingextraordinary in the conduct of either, nothing calculated toexcite suspicion, except in distrustful minds, which mine was not,and therefore I would not suspect.
long; he will be back,' said LadyLowborough's .
Almost immediately after dinner Annabella went out with her husbandto share his moonlight ramble, for it was a splendid evening likethe last. Mr. Hargrave entered the drawing-room a little beforethe others, and challenged me to a game of chess. He did itwithout any of that sad but proud humility he usually assumes inaddressing me, unless he is excited with wine. I looked at hisface to see if that was the case now. His eye met mine keenly, butsteadily: there was something about him I did not understand, buthe seemed sober enough. Not choosing to engage with him, Ireferred him to Milicent.
'She plays badly,' said he, 'I want to match my skill with yours.Come now! you can't pretend you are reluctant to lay down yourwork. I know you never take it up except to pass an idle hour,when there is nothing better you can do.'
'But chess-players are so unsociable,' I objected; 'they are nocompany for any but themselves.'
'There is no one here but Milicent, and she - '
'Oh, I shall be delighted to watch you!' cried our mutual friend.'Two such players - it will be quite a treat! I wonder which willconquer.'
I consented.
'Now, Mrs. Huntingdon,' said Hargrave, as he arranged the men onthe board, speaking distinctly, and with a peculiar emphasis, as ifhe had a double meaning to all his words, 'you are a good player,but I am a better: we shall have a long game, and you will give mesome trouble; but I can be as patient as you, and in the end Ishall certainly win.' He fixed his eyes upon me with a glance Idid not like, keen, crafty, bold, and almost impudent; - alreadyhalf triumphant in his anticipated success.
'I hope not, Mr. Hargrave!' returned I, with vehemence that musthave startled Milicent at least; but he only smiled and murmured,'Time will show.'
We set to work: he sufficiently interested in the game, but calmand fearless in the consciousness of superior skill: I, intenselyeager to disappoint his expectations, for I considered this thetype of a more serious contest, as I imagined he did, and I felt analmost superstitious dread of being beaten: at all events, I couldill endure that present success should add one tittle to hisconscious power (his insolent self-confidence I ought to say), orencourage for a moment his dream of future conquest. His play wascautious and deep, but I struggled hard against him. For some timethe combat was doubtful: at length, to my joy, the victory seemedinclining to my side: I had taken several of his best pieces, andmanifestly baffled his projects. He put his hand to his brow andpaused, in evident perplexity. I rejoiced in my advantage, butdared not glory in it yet. At length, he lifted his head, andquietly making his move, looked at me and said, calmly, 'Now youthink you will win, don't you?'
'I hope so,' replied I, taking his pawn that he had pushed into theway of my bishop with so careless an air that I thought it was anoversight, but was not generous enough, under the circumstances, todirect his attention to it, and too heedless, at the moment, toforesee the after-consequences of my move.
'It is those bishops that trouble me,' said he; 'but the boldknight can overleap the reverend gentlemen,' taking my last bishopwith his knight; 'and now, those sacred persons once removed, Ishall carry all before me.'
Well?'Walter, how you talk!' .
'Oh, Walter, how you talk!' cried Milicent; 'she has far morepieces than you still.'
'I intend to give you some trouble yet,' said I; 'and perhaps, sir,you will find yourself checkmated before you are aware. Look toyour queen.'
The combat deepened. The game was a long one, and I did give himsome trouble: but he was a better player than I.
'What keen gamesters you are!' said Mr. Hattersley, who had nowentered, and been watching us for some time. 'Why, Mrs.Huntingdon, your hand trembles as if you had staked your all uponit! and, Walter, you dog, you look as deep and cool as if you werecertain of success, and as keen and cruel as if you would drain herheart's blood! But if I were you, I wouldn't beat her, for veryfear: she'll hate you if you do - she will, by heaven! I see itin her eye.'
'Hold your tongue, will you?' said I: his talk distracted me, forI was driven to extremities. A few more moves, and I wasinextricably entangled in the snare of my antagonist.
'Check,' cried he: I sought in agony some means of escape.'Mate!' he added, quietly, but with evident delight. He hadsuspended the utterance of that last fatal syllable the better toenjoy my dismay. I was foolishly disconcerted by the event.Hattersley laughed; Milicent was troubled to see me so disturbed.Hargrave placed his hand on mine that rested on the table, andsqueezing it with a firm but gentle pressure, murmured, 'Beaten,beaten!' and gazed into my face with a look where exultation wasblended with an expression of ardour and tenderness yet moreinsulting.
'No, never, Mr. Hargrave!' exclaimed I, quickly withdrawing myhand.
'Do you deny?' replied he, smilingly pointing to the board. 'No,no,' I answered, recollecting how strange my conduct must appear:'you have beaten me in that game.'
Lowborough,' answered I, for he looked at mefor a reply.
'Will you try another, then?'
'No.'
resume my work.appear:'you have beaten me in that game.'atpresent.
'You acknowledge my superiority?'
'Yes, as a chess-player.'
I rose to resume my work.
'Where is Annabella?' said Hargrave, gravely, after glancing roundthe room.
'Gone out with Lord Lowborough,' answered I, for he looked at mefor a reply.
'And not yet returned!' he said, seriously.
'I suppose not.'
'Where is Huntingdon?' looking round again.
'Gone out with Grimsby, as you know,' said Hattersley, suppressinga laugh, which broke forth as he concluded the sentence. Why didhe laugh? Why did Hargrave connect them thus together? Was ittrue, then? And was this the dreadful secret he had wished toreveal to me? I must know, and that quickly. I instantly rose andleft the room to go in search of Rachel and demand an explanationof her words; but Mr. Hargrave followed me into the anteroom, andbefore I could open its outer door, gently laid his hand upon thelock. 'May I tell you something, Mrs. Huntingdon?' said he, in asubdued tone, with serious, downcast eyes.
, for veryfear: she'll hate you if you do - she will, by heaven.
'If it be anything worth hearing,' replied I, struggling to becomposed, for I trembled in every limb.
He quietly pushed a chair towards me. I merely leant my hand uponit, and bid him go on.
'Do not be alarmed,' said he: 'what I wish to say is nothing initself; and I will leave you to draw your own inferences from it.You say that Annabella is not yet returned?'
'Yes, yes - go on!' said I, impatiently; for I feared my forcedcalmness would leave me before the end of his disclosure, whateverit might be.
'And you hear,' continued he, 'that Huntingdon is gone out withGrimsby?'
'Well?'
'I heard the latter say to your husband - or the man who callshimself so - '
'Go on, sir!'
Without a word of comment or further questioning, I rose, anddarted from the room and out of the house. The torment of suspensewas not to be endured: I would not suspect my husband falsely, onthis man's accusation, and I would not trust him unworthily - Imust know the truth at once. I flew to the shrubbery. Scarcelyhad I reached it, when a sound of voices arrested my breathlessspeed.
'We have lingered too long; he will be back,' said LadyLowborough's voice.
'Surely not, dearest!' was his reply; 'but you can run across thelawn, and get in as quietly as you can; I'll follow in a while.'
My knees trembled under me; my brain swam round. I was ready tofaint. She must not see me thus. I shrunk among the bushes, andleant against the trunk of a tree to let her pass.
'Ah, Huntingdon!' said she reproachfully, pausing where I had stoodwith him the night before - 'it was here you kissed that woman!'she looked back into the leafy shade. Advancing thence, heanswered, with a careless laugh, -
'Well, dearest, I couldn't help it. You know I must keep straightwith her as long as I can. Haven't I seen you kiss your dolt of ahusband scores of times? - and do I ever complain?'
'But tell me, don't you love her still - a little?' said she,placing her hand on his arm, looking earnestly in his face - for Icould see them, plainly, the moon shining full upon them frombetween the branches of the tree that sheltered me.
'Not one bit, by all that's sacred!' he replied, kissing herglowing cheek.
'Good heavens, I must be gone!' cried she, suddenly breaking fromhim, and away she flew.
There he stood before me; but I had not strength to confront himnow: my tongue cleaved to the roof of my mouth; I was well-nighsinking to the earth, and I almost wondered he did not hear thebeating of my heart above the low sighing of the wind and thefitful rustle of the falling leaves. My senses seemed to fail me,but still I saw his shadowy form pass before me, and through therushing sound in my ears I distinctly heard him say, as he stoodlooking up the lawn, - 'There goes the fool! Run, Annabella, run!There - in with you! Ah, - he didn't see! That's right, Grimsby,keep him back!' And even his low laugh reached me as he walkedaway.
'God help me now!' I murmured, sinking on my knees among the dampweeds and brushwood that surrounded me, and looking up at themoonlit sky, through the scant foliage above. It seemed all dimand quivering now to my darkened sight. My burning, bursting heartstrove to pour forth its agony to God, but could not frame itsanguish into prayer; until a gust of wind swept over me, which,while it scattered the dead leaves, like blighted hopes, around,cooled my forehead, and seemed a little to revive my sinking frame.Then, while I lifted up my soul in speechless, earnestsupplication, some heavenly influence seemed to strengthen mewithin: I breathed more freely; my vision cleared; I sawdistinctly the pure moon shining on, and the light clouds skimmingthe clear, dark sky; and then I saw the eternal stars twinklingdown upon me; I knew their God was mine, and He was strong to saveand swift to hear. 'I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee,'seemed whispered from above their myriad orbs. No, no; I felt Hewould not leave me comfortless: in spite of earth and hell Ishould have strength for all my trials, and win a glorious rest atlast!
Refreshed, invigorated, if not composed, I rose and returned to thehouse. Much of my new-born strength and courage forsook me, Iconfess, as I entered it, and shut out the fresh wind and theglorious sky: everything I saw and heard seemed to sicken my heart- the hall, the lamp, the staircase, the doors of the differentapartments, the social sound of talk and laughter from the drawing-room. How could I bear my future life! In this house, among thosepeople - oh, how could I endure to live! John just then enteredthe hall, and seeing me, told me he had been sent in search of me,adding that he had taken in the tea, and master wished to know if Iwere coming.
'Ask Mrs. Hattersley to be so kind as to make the tea, John,' saidI. 'Say I am not well to-night, and wish to be excused.'
I retired into the large, empty dining-room, where all was silenceand darkness, but for the soft sighing of the wind without, and thefaint gleam of moonlight that pierced the blinds and curtains; andthere I walked rapidly up and down, thinking of my bitter thoughtsalone. How different was this from the evening of yesterday!That, it seems, was the last expiring flash of my life's happiness.Poor, blinded fool that I was to be so happy! I could now see thereason of Arthur's strange reception of me in the shrubbery; theburst of kindness was for his paramour, the start of horror for hiswife. Now, too, I could better understand the conversation betweenHattersley and Grimsby; it was doubtless of his love for her theyspoke, not for me.