简.爱 英文版 Jane Eyre
夏洛蒂.勃朗特 Charlotte Bronte
CHAPTER XIV Page 1
For several subsequent days I saw little of Mr. Rochester. In themornings he seemed much engaged with business, and, in the afternoon,gentlemen from Millcote or the neighbourhood called, and sometimesstayed to dine with him. When his sprain was well enough to admitof horse exercise, he rode out a good deal; probably to returnthese visits, as he generally did not come back till late at night.
During this interval, even Adele was seldom sent for to his presence,and all my acquaintance with him was confined to an occasionalrencontre in the hall, on the stairs, or in the gallery, when hewould sometimes pass me haughtily and coldly, just acknowledgingmy presence by a distant nod or a cool glance, and sometimes bowand smile with gentlemanlike affability. His changes of mood didnot offend me, because I saw that I had nothing to do with theiralternation; the ebb and flow depended on causes quite disconnectedwith me.
One day he had had company to dinner, and had sent for my portfolio;in order, doubtless, to exhibit its contents: the gentlemen wentaway early, to attend a public meeting at Millcote, as Mrs. Fairfaxinformed me; but the night being wet and inclement, Mr. Rochesterdid not accompany them. Soon after they were gone he rang the bell:a message came that I and Adele were to go downstairs. I brushedAdele's hair and made her neat, and having ascertained that I wasmyself in my usual Quaker trim, where there was nothing to retouch-- all being too close and plain, braided locks included, to admitof disarrangement -- we descended, Adele wondering whether thepetit coffre was at length come; for, owing to some mistake, itsarrival had hitherto been delayed. She was gratified: there itstood, a little carton, on the table when we entered the dining-room.She appeared to know it by instinct.
"Ma boite! ma boite!" exclaimed she, running towards it.
"Yes, there is your 'boite' at last: take it into a corner, yougenuine daughter of Paris, and amuse yourself with disembowellingit, " said the deep and rather sarcastic voice of Mr. Rochester,proceeding from the depths of an immense easy-chair at the fireside."And mind, " he continued, "don't bother me with any details of theanatomical process, or any notice of the condition of the entrails:let your operation be conducted in silence: tiens-toi tranquille,enfant; comprends-tu?"
Adele seemed scarcely to need the warning -- she had already retiredto a sofa with her treasure, and was busy untying the cord whichsecured the lid. Having removed this impediment, and liftedcertain silvery envelopes of tissue paper, she merely exclaimed -
"Oh ciel! Que c'est beau!" and then remained absorbed in ecstaticcontemplation.
"Is Miss Eyre there?" now demanded the master, half rising fromhis seat to look round to the door, near which I still stood.
"Ah! well, come forward; be seated here. " He drew a chair nearhis own. "I am not fond of the prattle of children, " he continued;"for, old bachelor as I am, I have no pleasant associationsconnected with their lisp. It would be intolerable to me to passa whole evening tete-e-tete with a brat. Don't draw that chairfarther off, Miss Eyre; sit down exactly where I placed it -- ifyou please, that is. Confound these civilities! I continuallyforget them. Nor do I particularly affect simple-minded old ladies.By-the-bye, I must have mine in mind; it won't do to neglect her;she is a Fairfax, or wed to one; and blood is said to be thickerthan water. "
He rang, and despatched an invitation to Mrs. Fairfax, who soonarrived, knitting-basket in hand.
"Good evening, madam; I sent to you for a charitable purpose. Ihave forbidden Adele to talk to me about her presents, and she isbursting with repletion: have the goodness to serve her as auditressand interlocutrice; it will be one of the most benevolent acts youever performed. "
Adele, indeed, no sooner saw Mrs. Fairfax, than she summoned herto her sofa, and there quickly filled her lap with the porcelain,the ivory, the waxen contents of her "boite;" pouring out, meantime,explanations and raptures in such broken English as she was mistressof.
"Now I have performed the part of a good host, " pursued Mr. Rochester,"put my guests into the way of amusing each other, I ought to be atliberty to attend to my own pleasure. Miss Eyre, draw your chairstill a little farther forward: you are yet too far back; I cannotsee you without disturbing my position in this comfortable chair,which I have no mind to do. "
I did as I was bid, though I would much rather have remainedsomewhat in the shade; but Mr. Rochester had such a direct way ofgiving orders, it seemed a matter of course to obey him promptly.
We were, as I have said, in the dining-room: the lustre, whichhad been lit for dinner, filled the room with a festal breadth oflight; the large fire was all red and clear; the purple curtainshung rich and ample before the lofty window and loftier arch;everything was still, save the subdued chat of Adele (she darednot speak loud), and, filling up each pause, the beating of winterrain against the panes.
Mr. Rochester, as he sat in his damask-covered chair, lookeddifferent to what I had seen him look before; not quite so stern-- much less gloomy. There was a smile on his lips, and his eyessparkled, whether with wine or not, I am not sure; but I think itvery probable. He was, in short, in his after-dinner mood; moreexpanded and genial, and also more self-indulgent than the frigidand rigid temper of the morning; still he looked preciously grim,cushioning his massive head against the swelling back of his chair,and receiving the light of the fire on his granite-hewn features,and in his great, dark eyes; for he had great, dark eyes, and veryfine eyes, too -- not without a certain change in their depthssometimes, which, if it was not softness, reminded you, at least,of that feeling.
He had been looking two minutes at the fire, and I had been lookingthe same length of time at him, when, turning suddenly, he caughtmy gaze fastened on his physiognomy.
"You examine me, Miss Eyre, " said he: "do you think me handsome?"
I should, if I had deliberated, have replied to this question bysomething conventionally vague and polite; but the answer somehowslipped from my tongue before I was aware -- "No, sir. "
"Ah! By my word! there is something singular about you, " saidhe: "you have the air of a little nonnette; quaint, quiet, grave,and simple, as you sit with your hands before you, and your eyesgenerally bent on the carpet (except, by-the-bye, when they aredirected piercingly to my face; as just now, for instance); andwhen one asks you a question, or makes a remark to which you areobliged to reply, you rap out a round rejoinder, which, if notblunt, is at least brusque. What do you mean by it?"
"Sir, I was too plain; I beg your pardon. I ought to have repliedthat it was not easy to give an impromptu answer to a questionabout appearances; that tastes mostly differ; and that beauty isof little consequence, or something of that sort. "
"You ought to have replied no such thing. Beauty of little consequence,indeed! And so, under pretence of softening the previous outrage,of stroking and soothing me into placidity, you stick a sly penknifeunder my ear! Go on: what fault do you find with me, pray? Isuppose I have all my limbs and all my features like any otherman?"
"Mr. Rochester, allow me to disown my first answer: I intended nopointed repartee: it was only a blunder. "
"Just so: I think so: and you shall be answerable for it. Criticiseme: does my forehead not please you?"
He lifted up the sable waves of hair which lay horizontally overhis brow, and showed a solid enough mass of intellectual organs,but an abrupt deficiency where the suave sign of benevolence shouldhave risen.
"Now, ma'am, am I a fool?"
"Far from it, sir. You would, perhaps, think me rude if I inquiredin return whether you are a philanthropist?"
"There again! Another stick of the penknife, when she pretendedto pat my head: and that is because I said I did not like thesociety of children and old women (low be it spoken!). No, younglady, I am not a general philanthropist; but I bear a conscience;"and he pointed to the prominences which are said to indicatethat faculty, and which, fortunately for him, were sufficientlyconspicuous; giving, indeed, a marked breadth to the upper part ofhis head: "and, besides, I once had a kind of rude tenderness ofheart. When I was as old as you, I was a feeling fellow enough,partial to the unfledged, unfostered, and unlucky; but Fortune hasknocked me about since: she has even kneaded me with her knuckles,and now I flatter myself I am hard and tough as an India-rubberball; pervious, though, through a chink or two still, and with onesentient point in the middle of the lump. Yes: does that leavehope for me?"
"Hope of what, sir?"
"Of my final re-transformation from India-rubber back to flesh?"
"Decidedly he has had too much wine, " I thought; and I did notknow what answer to make to his queer question: how could I tellwhether he was capable of being re-transformed?
"You looked very much puzzled, Miss Eyre; and though you are notpretty any more than I am handsome, yet a puzzled air becomes you;besides, it is convenient, for it keeps those searching eyes ofyours away from my physiognomy, and busies them with the worstedflowers of the rug; so puzzle on. Young lady, I am disposed to begregarious and communicative to-night. "
With this announcement he rose from his chair, and stood, leaninghis arm on the marble mantelpiece: in that attitude his shape wasseen plainly as well as his face; his unusual breadth of chest,disproportionate almost to his length of limb. I am sure mostpeople would have thought him an ugly man; yet there was so muchunconscious pride in his port; so much ease in his demeanour; sucha look of complete indifference to his own external appearance; sohaughty a reliance on the power of other qualities, intrinsic oradventitious, to atone for the lack of mere personal attractiveness,that, in looking at him, one inevitably shared the indifference,and, even in a blind, imperfect sense, put faith in the confidence.
"I am disposed to be gregarious and communicative to-night, "he repeated, "and that is why I sent for you: the fire and thechandelier were not sufficient company for me; nor would Pilot havebeen, for none of these can talk. Adele is a degree better, butstill far below the mark; Mrs. Fairfax ditto; you, I am persuaded,can suit me if you will: you puzzled me the first evening Iinvited you down here. I have almost forgotten you since: otherideas have driven yours from my head; but to-night I am resolvedto be at ease; to dismiss what importunes, and recall what pleases.It would please me now to draw you out -- to learn more of you --therefore speak. "
Instead of speaking, I smiled; and not a very complacent or submissivesmile either.
"Speak, " he urged.
"What about, sir?"
"Whatever you like. I leave both the choice of subject and themanner of treating it entirely to yourself. "
Accordingly I sat and said nothing: "If he expects me to talkfor the mere sake of talking and showing off, he will find he hasaddressed himself to the wrong person, " I thought.
"You are dumb, Miss Eyre. "
I was dumb still. He bent his head a little towards me, and witha single hasty glance seemed to dive into my eyes.
"Stubborn?" he said, "and annoyed. Ah! it is consistent. I putmy request in an absurd, almost insolent form. Miss Eyre, I begyour pardon. The fact is, once for all, I don't wish to treat youlike an inferior: that is" (correcting himself), "I claim onlysuch superiority as must result from twenty years' difference inage and a century's advance in experience. This is legitimate,et j'y tiens, as Adele would say; and it is by virtue of thissuperiority, and this alone, that I desire you to have the goodnessto talk to me a little now, and divert my thoughts, which are galledwith dwelling on one point -- cankering as a rusty nail. "
He had deigned an explanation, almost an apology, and I did notfeel insensible to his condescension, and would not seem so.
"I am willing to amuse you, if I can, sir -- quite willing; but Icannot introduce a topic, because how do I know what will interestyou? Ask me questions, and I will do my best to answer them. "
"Then, in the first place, do you agree with me that I have a rightto be a little masterful, abrupt, perhaps exacting, sometimes,on the grounds I stated, namely, that I am old enough to be yourfather, and that I have battled through a varied experience withmany men of many nations, and roamed over half the globe, whileyou have lived quietly with one set of people in one house?"
"Do as you please, sir. "
"That is no answer; or rather it is a very irritating, because avery evasive one. Reply clearly. "
"I don't think, sir, you have a right to command me, merely becauseyou are older than I, or because you have seen more of the worldthan I have; your claim to superiority depends on the use you havemade of your time and experience. "
"Humph! Promptly spoken. But I won't allow that, seeing that itwould never suit my case, as I have made an indifferent, not tosay a bad, use of both advantages. Leaving superiority out of thequestion, then, you must still agree to receive my orders now andthen, without being piqued or hurt by the tone of command. Willyou?"
I smiled: I thought to myself Mr. Rochester IS peculiar -- heseems to forget that he pays me 30 pounds per annum for receivinghis orders.
"The smile is very well, " said he, catching instantly the passingexpression; "but speak too. "
"I was thinking, sir, that very few masters would trouble themselvesto inquire whether or not their paid subordinates were piqued andhurt by their orders. "
"Paid subordinates! What! you are my paid subordinate, are you?Oh yes, I had forgotten the salary! Well then, on that mercenaryground, will you agree to let me hector a little?"
"No, sir, not on that ground; but, on the ground that you did forgetit, and that you care whether or not a dependent is comfortable inhis dependency, I agree heartily. "
"And will you consent to dispense with a great many conventionalforms and phrases, without thinking that the omission arises frominsolence?"
"I am sure, sir, I should never mistake informality for insolence:one I rather like, the other nothing free-born would submit to,even for a salary. "
"Humbug! Most things free-born will submit to anything for a salary;therefore, keep to yourself, and don't venture on generalities ofwhich you are intensely ignorant. However, I mentally shake handswith you for your answer, despite its inaccuracy; and as much forthe manner in which it was said, as for the substance of the speech;the manner was frank and sincere; one does not often see such amanner: no, on the contrary, affectation, or coldness, or stupid,coarse-minded misapprehension of one's meaning are the usual rewardsof candour. Not three in three thousand raw school-girl-governesseswould have answered me as you have just done. But I don't mean toflatter you: if you are cast in a different mould to the majority,it is no merit of yours: Nature did it. And then, after all,I go too fast in my conclusions: for what I yet know, you maybe no better than the rest; you may have intolerable defects tocounterbalance your few good points. "
goodness to serve her as auditressand interlocutrice;.
"And so may you, " I thought. My eye met his as the idea crossedmy mind: he seemed to read the glance, answering as ifits import had been spoken as well as imagined -
"Yes, yes, you are right, " said he; "I have plenty of faults ofmy own: I know it, and I don't wish to palliate them, I assureyou. God wot I need not be too severe about others; I have a pastexistence, a series of deeds, a colour of life to contemplate withinmy own breast, which might well call my sneers and censures frommy neighbours to myself. I started, or rather (for like otherdefaulters, I like to lay half the blame on ill fortune and adversecircumstances) was thrust on to a wrong tack at the age of one-and-twenty, and have never recovered the right course since: but Imight have been very different; I might have been as good as you-- wiser -- almost as stainless. I envy you your peace of mind,your clean conscience, your unpolluted memory. Little girl, amemory without blot or contamination must be an exquisite treasure-- an inexhaustible source of pure refreshment: is it not?"
"How was your memory when you were eighteen, sir?"
"All right then; limpid, salubrious: no gush of bilge water hadturned it to fetid puddle. I was your equal at eighteen -- quiteyour equal. Nature meant me to be, on the whole, a good man, MissEyre; one of the better kind, and you see I am not so. You wouldsay you don't see it; at least I flatter myself I read as much inyour eye (beware, by-the-bye, what you express with that organ;I am quick at interpreting its language). Then take my word forit, -- I am not a villain: you are not to suppose that -- notto attribute to me any such bad eminence; but, owing, I verilybelieve, rather to circumstances than to my natural bent, I am atrite commonplace sinner, hackneyed in all the poor petty dissipationswith which the rich and worthless try to put on life. Do you wonderthat I avow this to you? Know, that in the course of your futurelife you will often find yourself elected the involuntary confidantof your acquaintances' secrets: people will instinctively findout, as I have done, that it is not your forte to tell of yourself,but to listen while others talk of themselves; they will feel, too,that you listen with no malevolent scorn of their indiscretion,but with a kind of innate sympathy; not the less comforting andencouraging because it is very unobtrusive in its manifestations. "
"How do you know? -- how can you guess all this, sir?"
"Repentance is said to be its cure, sir. "
"It is not its cure. Reformation may be its cure; and I couldreform -- I have strength yet for that -- if -- but where is theuse of thinking of it, hampered, burdened, cursed as I am? Besides,since happiness is irrevocably denied me, I have a right to getpleasure out of life: and I WILL get it, cost what it may. "
"Then you will degenerate still more, sir. "
"Possibly: yet why should I, if I can get sweet, fresh pleasure?And I may get it as sweet and fresh as the wild honey the beegathers on the moor. "